#I relate to the kid who hides his anxiety behind a smile

[eastons-creations]

wait but I relate to remus -but I want him as a partner. But I also think he’d kinda suck as a partner bc of his like self esteem issues and how much it effects his day to day interactions (like to the point it’s so unhealthy and it makes him second guess every single word or non word and he like gets in his head about it….I’m gonna stop talking now because I’m realizing I’m kinda talking about myself lol.) but I also relate to sirius and like childhood shit and how it effects him and the sibling stuff, but I wouldnt want canon version of him as a partner (and honestly most non canon versions). That mostly though just cause I’m not attracted to the bad boy vibes but I’d take everything else. The self esteem is a thing too.

IM SO CONFUSED CAUSE ITS LIKE BOTH

let’s be honest, everyone’s favorite ship dynamic is just a character they can project on or relate to, and a character who’s their type

[skyward-floored]

Hi, I hope you don’t mind… I know you did it too but I couldn’t leave it alone.

—

There was a strange sensation like the weird...event that had brought the two of them to this place where everything was strange and suddenly striding through the doorway was Twilight, their Twilight. His face wasn’t scarred, and there was surety and openness in his brother’s bearing, not someone who had been hiding and dodging attention his whole life. He caught sight of the two of them and his eyes went wide.

“Wind! Four!” His Expression went from surprise to relief to an exasperated outrage. “Do you have any idea how worried—” He dropped to his knees and yanked his brothers in his arms. There was nothing else to do for the worrywart but accept his attention so Wind and Four hugged him back. It was then that Twilight suddenly stiffened as his senses caught up and he registered there was something different. “Mom? What happened? What’s wrong?!” He let go of his youngest brothers and rocked back on his heels as if to read the answer in the expression this version of their mother. Mama-two looked at Twilight, her own expression just as confused and hadn’t lost that sadness. Twilight stood again, looking around the room and the brother who had come into the room behind Mama-two.

“Ledge?” His eyes widened. “You’re hurt, how long ‘ve you been keeping that from Rulie?” He stood to cross to his brother as Legend’s bitter anger softened to a confusion as well. Twilight scanned the room, the house beyond Mama-two and Snarky-Salty-Brother. “Where is Rulie? Where’s Wild? What is going on?!” Seeing the anxiety start on their oldest brother’s face, Wind and Four quickly took one hand each to draw his attention.

“How about we answer where we’ve been first, ‘Kay Twi?”

—

There was a tingling, swirling, almost-vertigo sensation and Twilight found himself in the hallway of their house but as the assault of dark, swirling energy/magic faded to let his other senses return, there was a change in the air.

This hallway, which had their family pictures, was more full. There were pictures of Sky and a blonde girl who could only be the Sun that these two other super-kids had been talking about. The woman who had married Dad’s sort-of-brother. They were happy, holding a newborn baby in their arms. Sky was happy, whole! There was another couple, what was probably his blood-related uncle with a lady he didn’t recognize but they looked happy and if it was possible to catch a photo of someone who was absolutely in love it would be this one. There were photos of himself, of Legend, of the two super-kids who claimed to be his siblings (seeing them in what appeared to be a family photo certainly made their claims more believable in that moment), and two others who must have been the ‘Wild’ and ‘Hyrule’ these two had been talking about finding. The photo of Dad was in the same spot, still the same smile. Subconsciously, he reached for it like he always did. A blur suddenly passed between him and the end of the hallway, making him startle back in surprise and the photos behind him, of Epona, Grandpa Talon, and some grade-school photos of himself, of Legend, of the four other siblings he was apparently supposed to have clattered to the floor.

“Twilight!” The blur resolved into a boy with blond hair grown long and old scars all down the side of his face and neck. “What’s wrong? Are you ok?” He took in Twilight’s face. Something seemed to register in this stranger’s face and he blurred again and was gone.

“Wild, what…” The stranger was pulling someone else into the hallway. And the face that Twilight had been telling his troubles to in photo form for the last several years was suddenly standing in front of him in the flesh. “Twi, did you get some news?”

Dad… that was Dad. The Shade of Link Sr who had haunted his memory for years. The Shade’s expression suddenly morphed from the image of the faint smile from the photo to a concerned look.

“Twilight? Are you hurt?” The Shade crossed to take him by the shoulders. “Son, what’s wrong?” It was his father’s voice, and he felt the warmth of the fatherly grip on his shoulders.

“D-Dad?” He couldn’t answer any further as the lump grew in his throat and choked off his words. The grip on his shoulders suddenly left and he found himself pulled tight to his father’s chest.

“Pup, talk to me. What’s going on?” The lump bloomed into stinging, burning tears and he sobbed as the childhood nickname tore down the dam of his responsibility. Oh he had missed this so much. The warm strength of a father’s embrace. The grip around him tightened, hands pulled his head into a shoulder. He let his suddenly-shaking legs give beneath him but he didn’t fall. His father held him tight. Held him up. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you…”

I do not mind at all this literally made me tear up as I read it and now I’m trying not to cry in front of my siblings HWAAAAAAAAGH

[jxfndm]

JEREMIAH FISHER x FEM! READER - ONE SHOT

lover boy*

WARNINGS - mature descriptions, angst, mentions of drugs/alcohol, mentions of abuse, smut-related descriptions, fluff

a/n : please read warnings list first, this is fiction! thank you <3

Y/N

"God, you’re such an asshole, you complain all the fucking time." he snapped. I was sitting in my now ex’s apartment, just trying to get the last of my mail that was sent here. We’ve been broken up for almost a month, and every time I come by, he’s drunk or high, or both.

If the reasons I left weren’t so obvious, then good luck to his next lover.

"Ty, I’m just trying to grab the last of my mail. I have a ride outside and I need to get going. I promise this is the last few, you won’t be seeing me again here." I calmly stated, grabbing all my mail and standing up from the couch.

His devious eyes stared right into my soul. I was definitely shitting myself, but if I showed him that, it would just allow him to trap me in all over again. Beer bottles littered the kitchen counter and the entire place smelt of pure sweat and drugs. The place I thought we’d be starting our lives with, became the place I feared the most.

"Letting you go was the wrong decision baby, you gotta stay. I’m going to be better." he started. He giggled drunkenly, slamming his bottle on the table. "A-and to show you, I won’t even finish this bottle. Come back, Y/N." he said sheepishly.

I had to leave, I checked my texts, they were blowing up from my ride outside.

"No. We’re done, Ty. I’m sorry." I replied flatly. rushing to gather my things and walk over to the door. Before I could even reach the handle, a bottle of glass had hit the door, shattering into pieces, with the same stupid liquid running down the door.

Suddenly, taken aback, I stood there trembling.

"Fuck! See the shit you make me do!" he yelled. I gulped, anxiety rushing throughout my whole body. He got close, and whispered in my ear, "It’s time you learned your place, princess."

Before my body could even do so much as react, he grabbed my arm, pushing me against the door, my hair getting caught in the beer that was splattered all over. My face began to get hot, and I could feel the tears starting to well in my eyes.

He stared me down, a smirk planted across his face now. Bracing myself, I knew I was doomed. Just as he was about to dig himself into my neck, the door had flung us apart.

"Y/N I’ve been texting you, where- what the fuck!" a voice yelled. I knew that voice, all I wanted right now was the man standing at the doorway. I was on the floor, with Ty stumbling to get up. The tears began to flow, I wanted to leave, now.

I looked at the pair of blue eyes staring right at me. His face softened, with a sense of guilt hidden behind it. If there was one thing I could do well, I could read my best friend’s face pretty well. Jeremiah could never hide how he was feeling, at least not with me.

"Man, who the fuck do you think you are! Get the fuck out!" Ty retorted, stumbling Jeremiah’s way. Jeremiah’s face went white at the sight of Ty, his knuckles clenched and jaw locked.

As I began to stand, Jeremiah sped right over to Ty, getting into his face.

"Alright buddy, you know what you’re gonna do now? You’re gonna let me and Y/N go home right now and you are never gonna touch or talk to her again. The minute I find out you do as much as look her way, I’ll be right back here to beat your ass." Jeremiah threatened, with his eyes dark and serious. Ty backed off, seeming as Jeremiah was bigger than he was, he also knew he wasn’t kidding. The last thing Ty would want to do, is get involved with the Fishers.

Jeremiah walked straight to me, bending down to help me grab my stuff. My eyes were puffy and my head was pounding, I just wanted to go home, and I knew Jeremiah had caught on.

"Hey, I got your stuff, you can just grab onto my arm. Let’s go." he said, his voice soft and delicate. I shot him a small smile before doing as he suggested.

We were out and back in the car in less than 5 minutes. I didn’t feel like talking or explaining anything, I just wanted to go and shower and decompress. Jeremiah understood it quickly, taking us back to his apartment, where I had evidently been staying since the break up with Ty, it was the only place I felt safe at, and the only place I could go really.

at home

Jeremiah unlocked the door, stepping to the side to let me in. A gentleman, always.

I walked through the doorway with an immense amount of relief to finally be somewhere I felt safe, with someone who made me feel protected.

Jeremiah set my stuff down for me, shooting me a small grin.

"Thank you. " I whispered silently, but loud enough for him to hear, evidently. His gaze focused on me, unsure if I was going to say anything else. I nodded. "He's the worst, really. Thank you for coming to rescue me, I wasn't sure if I'd make it out alive, honestly." I finished, my head falling to meet my shoes.

Jere being the sweet boy he was, embraced me softly, with just enough pressure to ease my anxiety, but enough to make me feel calm again. I melted into his arms, sniffling the last of my tears out.

"Y/N, with me, you will never ever have to worry about him again. I just wished you would've told me about his behavior sooner, I'm really sorry he's been such an ass to you." he said, rubbing smalls on my back. I pulled away just a bit, to shoot him a genuine smile. I really appreciated my best friend, maybe more than a friend really should.

We were paused for a moment, tension and desire both longing between our bodies.

"Jere, I-" I started, but quickly becoming interrupted with his lips smashing on mine. Our lips moved in sync, the perfect tase of sweetness and passion.

I stumbled a little with the kiss, as we practically began a full-fledge make out right in the living room. His hands wandered down my torso, rubbing just about my lower waist.

We both pulled away for some air, which may have cause Jeremiah to realize what he had done, as he looked at me with pure shock and guilt. How cute.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry, I know it hasn't been long since you and-" he started. I grabbed his cheek, focusing his attention back on me and what I'd say next. "Jere, I want you. Nobody else, I want you, all of you." I pleaded, pulling his face down to mine.

He smiled, before fiercely resuming our previous make out session. Within the few seconds we were fighting for dominance, we landed on the couch, with Jere hovering above me. As I tugged on his shirt, it quickly made its way onto the floor.

Not long after, my hoodie had also found its way off, leaving my lace bra exposed. Jeremiah's eyes almost turned dark, if possible. I wanted every inch of him to myself.

"Y/N, are you sure?" he questioned, his chest rising up and down quickly. I smiled, "Never have been more sure in my life."

"Oh baby, you might've just fucked up." He whispered, both love and heat in his tone. Those words alone were enough to make me go absolutely feral.

We quickly reconnected as Jere's hands made its way into my bra, fondling my breasts and playing with my nipples. I felt his hard against my thigh, resulting in a funny sensation in my lower region.

Things quickly escalated, as the tension intensified between us. Moans exchanged throughout, the night had quickly turned around.

At that point, I knew I was finally in the right place, with the right boy. My lover boy.

-

a/n - interesting one lol, this was def out of my comfort zone a bit, but didnt hurt to try :))

-j

[mossarchives]

12 for Briar and Tamarack

12 was hard! That was Through Me (The Flood) by Hozier which is... very sad. I had to let this one cook for a while and it kind of diverted, but I hope you enjoy it anyways!

For context: Briar and Wyn exist in the same OL universe, but Briar has lived in Golden Grove her whole life (like Qiu). Her story is one of familial pressure since her mom wants to live vicariously through her.

--

He feels the rising of a wave and knows at once he will not weather it

---

Briar peers closer at her reflection in the mirror of her locker, tracing the curve of her lips with her lip gloss. The school hallways have yet to fully erupt into the noise and chaos of the morning rush, giving her a few moments of quiet to compose herself. She leans back from the mirror, and checks the clips holding her curls in place, twisting a particularly damaged piece of hair between her fingers. Years of straightening had done more damage than she’d been expecting, only noticeable when she started growing it back out. 

Briar takes a deep breath, and smooths out the collar of her blouse. Her stomach twists uncomfortably when she glances down at her watch, seeing the numbers tick ever higher towards the start of school. 

A small bubble of noise travels towards her, the voices a familiar balm to her anxiety. She looks beyond the door of her locker and spots three figures making their way down the hall towards her. Qiu is leading the charge with Tamarack and Wyn behind them, all engaged in conversation. 

“Briar!” Qiu’s attention switches to her the instant they make eye contact, cutting off whatever comment Wyn was in the middle of saying. “Who do you think would win a fight, a trio of vampires or a trio of werewolves?” 

“What?” She crosses her arms over her chest. Talking to Qiu is good for her on mornings like these, where she struggles to fortify the image of the perfect Briar Earnest. The little back and forth they’ve been perfecting since they were kids is simple. 

“Tamarack and I are on the team of the werewolves,” Wyn says, slipping around Briar to tuck his skateboard into her locker, without asking she might add. “Qiu votes for vampires.” 

“Can I vote for neither?” She gets a resounding ‘no’ in response and sighs. “Werewolves.” 

“Hah!” Wyn loops an arm around Qiu’s shoulders, “get outvoted, Blue.” 

“This is anarchy!” Qiu smirks back. “She’s only voting werewolves to vote against me!” 

Briar shrugs, “Maybe I am.” Qiu squints at her, gaze full of friendly challenge. She isn’t really in the mood to respond in kind, busying her hands by adjusting Wyn’s board so it won’t get dirt on any of her things. 

Tamarack shakes her head at the two of them, tucking her coat into her locker. “Weren’t you two going to go hunt through the lost and found for Qiu’s water bottle?”

“Oh, right.” Wyn says, far too quickly for Briar’s liking. He starts to pull Qiu down the hall, tightening his grip on their shoulders. “Let’s go do that!”

Once the two of them have vanished around the bend in the hall, Tamarack turns to face Briar with a gentle smile. “Good morning… Did you… talk to your mom last night?”

“I did.” Briar lets out a deep breath and closes her locker. “It went about as well as we all expected.” 

“I’m sorry.” The other girl winces, taking a step closer to reach for one of her hands. Her palms are warm against Briar’s tense fingers. 

“It’s fine. One of these days she’ll get over it.” She desperately wants to scrub a hand across her face, but resists. There’s far too much concealer and eye shadow fighting for their lives to hide her dark circles today. Futile frustration and anxiety well up in her chest, threatening to overwhelm her. ‘One of these days’ was just a lie she told herself to keep the fear at bay. Her mother was likely never going to stop trying to dig her claws into Briar’s life, trying to shape it to be the same as hers. Anyone who got irrationally angry at their daughter wanting to take science related classes in high school wasn’t going to give up after one argument. 

“Hey.” Tamarack runs her thumb across Briar’s knuckles, smoothing out the tension in her hands. The smile on her face is warm and her words are gentle. “I’m proud of you for talking to her, I think that was brave of you. You know I’m always here for you, and so are Wyn and Qiu.” 

Briar squeezes her hand. The feelings about the situation haven’t faded, but she appreciates the gesture nonetheless. Her situation isn’t something that words can fix, but it’s easier to let them sit in her chest knowing that Tamarack is there for her. She brings their joined hands to her lips, pressing a kiss to the other girl's knuckles. 

Their relationship was new enough that the simple gesture blooms a blush across Tamarack’s cheeks. She twines their fingers even tighter and inclines her head down the hall. “Should we go help them search?” 

“Ah, the incredibly legitimate search for Autumn's water bottle.” Briar lets herself get tugged along in the tide. “Next time tell Wyn to steal their water bottle before you show up, and not while trying to walk away.”

Tamarack just laughs and picks up her pace, their hands still tethered together. 

[comfy-whumpee]

1, 6, and 10 for Jax, please!

Hey there number 2 Jax fan 💕 (no.1 is @ashintheairlikesnow and if you're new here, Ash writes Savvie, Izzy and Jamie)

What common traits do you share with your oc? What about them is the least like you?

This is an especially interesting one for Jax because he's probably the whumpee who's least like me. Normally you portion out your issues to your whumpees, right? Ty has my sensory issues, Ellis has my anxiety, Spencer has my academic burnout, Northlight has more sensory and trust issues…

Jax was just there to be a defiant little shit and then he developed that into a whole character because Savvie came into existence.

Dad Jax is most like me. His interaction with Jamie but especially Izzy often mirror how I try to support some of the kids I've met. I've worked with some vulnerable kids, and the unique calm that Jax can channel when his babies need it is something I'm often praised for at work.

But I am not an angry person, and who would Jax be without the power of fury and hate? That's part of why he's so fun to put in Situations.

6. How much thought does your oc put into what they wear/look like? Any reason why?

Before the Teacher and Savvie, Jax could be a little vain and had confidence in his appearance. While Savvie would have done her emotionally needy whump regardless, I do wonder if she would have gone further if Jax wasn't pretty good-looking. So he used to put effort into wearing clothes that suited him and looked cool. Obviously, that was punk shit.

When he came back the first time he completely switched to clothes that wouldn't grab attention, and only occasionally went out in clothes he liked when he knew he'd be around other people who were dressed that way. Being stalked did not help at all, and when he came back with the kids, he defaulted to T-shirt and jeans, with or without jacket, most of the time. The main thing he does pay attention to is whether he wants to hide his shock collar scars that day (which is most days), with a scarf or bandanna.

10. What are some of your oc’s pet peeves? How do they handle it when the annoyance doesn’t stop?

It's hard to think of a pet peeve that doesn't have some deep-seated Savvie-related trauma behind it. Most of them are. Don't put flavouring in his coffee. Don't touch him out of turn. Don't clap your hands in excitement. Don't fake smiles. Don't comment on whether his kids are cute and definitely do not ever call Izzy a good girl.

The first infraction gets a glare, then a terse shutdown. People who continue after that, in his mind, deserve to be sworn at or - if they're stupid and not just mean - they get aggressively trauma-dumped on to shock them out of it.

For a light-hearted pet peeve, he thinks the music elitists you get in the alt scene are all dumbasses.

[headheartbellarke]

Paper Rings | OWEN JOYNER

Requested by anon: “Owen request? A series of events that leads Owen to finally working up the courage to propose to his girlfriend?” PAIRING(s): Owen Joyner x fem!reader WARNING(s): some language, mentions of abuse, panic attack, anxiety, and fluff haha WORDS: 3.7k SUMMARY: Five times Owen almost asks his girlfriend to marry him, and one time he actually does.

0.

    Charlie looks around, feeling out of place amongst the big mirrors, bright lights, and the sparkling diamonds. When his best friend, Owen, told him that he wanted a ‘guys night’ (he’s still unsure as to why he wants to have one: they live together, it’s guys’ night every night – he was expecting bars, or clubs, or fancy restaurants; things they don’t get to do every night, because of work. But he definitely wasn’t expecting to be dragged into a jewellery store.

  “O, buddy, what are we doing here?”

  Owen shushes him, walking ahead to a counter. A woman with kind eyes greets him. “Mr. Joyner!”

  He smiles, familiarity pooling in his eyes.

  Charlie frowns. He didn’t expect Owen to be into jewellery – sure, he buys stuff for his sister and mother, but he always takes them with him.

  He thinks of Y/N, Owen’s girlfriend of about five years – there’s a possibility that he may be buying something for her, but it’s highly unlikely. Y/N has been pretty vocal about the fact that she hates diamonds, and who’s to blame her, really? Her father used to buy her mother a diamond necklace after every time he hit her or when he came home smelling of another woman’s perfume.

  Charlie exclaims, “Owen! I’m gonna die if you don’t tell me what’s going on!”

   “I know, I know.” He shushes him, again, and Charlie feels like a child, even though he’s older than the blonde boy. Owen turns to the woman in front of him, Miranda, as her name tag reads, and says, “I hope it’s ready.”

  She nods, excitedly. “Yes! I have it right here with me.”

  She disappears beneath the counter, and Charlie expects her to return with a big box, like a magician’s apprentice. But, instead, she emerges with a small, tiny box and he wonders –

  As realization dawns upon him, he feels a rush of euphoria. “Oh my god, are you –”

  Owen nods, his face aglow with anticipation, hope and adoration. “I – I walked into this store a couple of weeks ago, after I decided that I wanted to marry her, I mean, I’ve known it for a while, you know? I can’t see myself being with anyone but her for the rest of my life, and I want a family with her. She’s my soulmate, dude. And I – I think it’s the right time, too. She’s got that amazing job, and my career’s going great, so, yeah. I wanna marry her.”

  Charlie sniffs, feeling tears at the back of his eyes. “Bro.”

  His friend grins. “Bro.”

  Charlie pulls him into a hug, but Owen pushes him away, and they swat each other’s hands for a second before Owen whisper shouts, “Do you wanna see the ring or not?!”

  Charlie’s eyes widen and he nods. They turn to the woman in front of them, and she points to the box placed on the counter before them. “If you’re ready.”

  Owen nods, and Charlie feels amazed at the determination clouding his irises. He opens the box, and the Canadian boy gasps.

  Inside sits a simple platinum ring. Except at the middle, there’s a diamond shaped like a star. It’s so beautifully built, every edge looking like they’re fit to cut steel. And the entire ring – it’s so simple, yet beautiful, and Charlie knows why he picked it.  

  It’s a mirror of the way Owen sees Y/N – something gorgeous, something priceless, something elegant, yet something so simple to him, and something that will always makes sense, no matter what.

1.

    Owen inhales, staring at his reflection in the full body length mirror in front of him. He’s going to do it today – he is going to ask his best friend, his soulmate and the love of his life to marry him. He has planned it all – even Charlie went out with the rest of the cast tonight to give the twenty-three-year-olds some privacy. (Charlie, Y/N, and Owen live together in Vancouver, at least while shooting the fourth season of Julie and The Phantoms, so, as one can guess, it’s really difficult to get a moment alone – but since the both of them love Charlie so fucking much, they don’t really mind.)

  He straightens his tie and hears soft footsteps in the hallway outside his room. Y/N’s head pokes in, her face lit up like Christmas lights.

   “Don’t you look sharp!” She says, while walking up to him and wrapping her arms around his torso. Owen smiles, catching her eyes in the reflection. “Are the bad puns ever going to stop?”

  She gasps, dramatically, and exclaims, “You don’t gotta be so mean about it!”

  He shakes his head, and feels love swell in his chest for the woman behind him. “I love you so much, you know that, right?”

  A mischievous glint appears in her eyes. “I could use a reminder.”

  Owen grins, turning backwards and cups her face in his hands, about to kiss her, when a voice stops him.

  “I think I just broke the coffee machine!”

  Y/N’s eyes widen, and she yells, “You did what?!”

  Owen’s brows furrow. “Is that –”

  She casts him an apologetic glance. “Zoe, yeah. I forgot to tell you, but Cece had to go out last minute, so I offered to watch her for the evening!”

  Usually, Owen loves kids, especially Y/N’s cousins like Zoe, but right now, he feels like jumping off a cliff. She seems to sense that as she runs her hands down his arms, and says, “I’m sorry! I know you said that tonight was gonna be just us, but you love Zoe, don’t you? And it’s gonna be fun, I promise!”

  It’s not. Owen had booked a table at Y/N’s favorite restaurant in Vancouver, and he would have proposed midway through the dinner, when the musicians there would start to play ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift, and when they got to the bridge, he would have dropped to a knee.

  Ignoring the weight in his chest, he plasters a smile on his face. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m sorry, I just – it’s been a while since we’ve been alone, you know? With work and all. But I’m sure it’s gonna be great with Zoe, too!”

  She nods. “Thank you. We can go out alone next week when Charlie has that photoshoot with Madi!”

  He nods. “Absolutely.”

  The little black box stays hidden in the pocket of the beige coat in his closet that he never wears.

2.

    As Y/N smiles at him, Owen thinks that this is it. This is the moment he’s gonna ask her to marry him.

  As the light from the fire illuminates her face, he thinks about how perfect this weekend has been. After long days, and even longer nights of filming, they finally got a weekend off, and Charlie immediately booked a cabin in North Vancouver.

  And there’s no one better at planning trips than Charlie.

  Along with Owen, Y/N, and Charlie; Madison, Jadah, Jeremy and his wife, Carolynn, Savannah, Sacha, and Tori are here, too, everyone basking in the peace. Throughout the weekend, they’ve done anything and everything they can do in snow – from skiing, to making snow angels, and finally, as the shades of evening rolled on the last day of their trip, they are tired.

  After dinner, everyone wordlessly returned to their rooms, and Owen knows that they’re all fast asleep, right now – except Y/N, who is still as bubbly as champagne.

  When they returned to their room, Y/N quickly lit the fire – because no matter if it’s snowing or if it’s fifty degrees outside – she is always freezing.

  It’s the opposite in Owen’s case, though – he’s always warm, and that’s why Y/N wasted no time to settle in his lap.

  Owen quickly pats his pocket to check if the ring’s still there. It is, and it’s been there for the whole weekend. He’s been searching for opportunities, but they were always either with someone, or it wasn’t a good time.

  “O?” She asks, her voice soft.

  “Hmm?” He replies, threading his fingers through her hair.

  Her eyes brighten up, putting the fire in front of them to shame. “I’ve just had an idea.”

  “Later. First, I have something to ask you.” He says, his hand reaching into his pocket again.

  She smiles. “I know what you’re gonna ask.”

  Owen’s surprised. “You do?”

  She nods excitedly. “Yeah. Charlie told me!”

  He must have had a horrified look on his face because her eyes widen quickly. “Oh, he didn’t want to, believe me! But, now that I know, tell me, when are you gonna do it?”

  Owen stammers, suddenly feeling breathless in this room. The anxiety starts to pool in his stomach, along with an anger, directed towards Charlie. “I – I – I can’t believe he told you this…”

  She shrugs. “You know that he can’t hide anything from me. He’s like the brother I never asked for. Anyway, so he was showing me some of the designs, and I love you, but I don’t think you can handle a tooth piercing.”

  Owen’s brows furrow. “What?”

  “Like, totally no offence, but you passed out when the dentist came to do a routine check up on your teeth. I don’t wanna imagine what would happen if you got them pierced.”

  “What are talking about?!”

  “Charlie and your matching piercings, dummy! What else would I be talking about?” She looks at him as if he’s grown a third head.

  Owen’s lips part. “We are not getting matching piercings – I wasn’t gonna ask you that!”

  “Oh!” Her eyes widen. “What were you gonna ask, then?”

  He gulps, thinking to himself – this is it. This is it. This is it.

  “Do you wanna go home for New Year’s?”

  He mentally curses when that question comes out of his mouth, and even with Y/N’s bright smile, he starts to feel queasy inside, knowing that he still isn’t confident enough to actually ask her.

3.

    Owen wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans and stands up. “Y/N, I have to tell you something.”

  She nods, her eyes sweeping across the mostly empty LA beach. He brought her here today to finally ask her to marry him – his past attempts have been nothing short of disastrous.

  As he opens his mouth, he feels a pang in his heart, and his mind starts to race. All kinds of thoughts race through his mind, like – what if she says no? what if she hates him for ruining what they have? What if Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift becomes his most relatable song? What if she –

  Y/N stands up, and her hand finds that of Owen’s, a reassurance, and he knows that she can sense his anxiety. She doesn’t ask him to talk about it – she knows that he will, eventually, when he’s ready. For now, she shows him that she’s here for him, and somehow that is enough.

  As she brushes his hair, his mind starts to calm down, his erratic breathing slowing down and involuntarily matching the pace of her breathing. She whispers, softly, “You’re okay. You’re safe. Everything is okay. You’re okay. I love you. I love you –”

  She keeps repeating that, until it’s like a mantra in Owen’s head, turning the racing thoughts to mere background noise.

  He opens his eyes, and looks into hers, and finally feels calm. He exhales. “That… uh....”

  She nods, comfort flooding through her eyes. “I know, baby. But it’s okay. You’re safe now.”

  He shakes his head, taking his hand in hers. “I – I – I think that maybe you and I should, uh, get – um, matching tattoos. Yeah. That’s what I wanted to ask you.” He lies.

  She nods enthusiastically. “Yes! Of course. You don’t even have to ask – we’ve always talked about it, and I think that now is the perfect time! Do you wanna –”

  As Y/N talks about designs, he thinks that he’s a fucking coward.

4.

    As Owen laughs, he feels confident, for once. He knows that tonight he’ll be able to ask her to marry him, especially in front of all his family – he loves his family, and so does Y/N and vice versa. He remembers the first time he brought her home three months after they’d started dating. He remembers feeling absolutely euphoric about the fact that she fit right in with his family. That was also the day that she had told him, for the first time, that she loves him.

  He looks around the table, and watches Y/N talk animatedly to his mother. His parents think of her as their own daughter, especially after finding out about her rocky relationship with her father. Y/N’s mother sits next to Owen, and he loves how carefree she looks – her ex-husband, really, was an asshole.

  He takes the little box out of his pocket, and his cousin, Elias, gasps. “Is that an engagement ring?” He whispers, his face scrunching as if the sentence left a bad taste in his mouth.

  Owen nods. “Yes. Elias, I would appreciate it if you kept it down.”

  His cousin raises his hands. “Always, homie.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Right.”

  Elias looks around. “Hey, do you think that it’s a good idea to propose now?”

  “What do you mean?” Owen’s brows furrow.

  “I mean people do it in private for a reason. What if she says no and then you get embarrassed in front of your entire family and hers? It’s sympathetic looks for the rest of your life, bro. And your parents wouldn’t be able to talk to her, nor to her mom, ‘cause it’d be, ya know, friggin’ embarrassing. Everyone’s probably gonna hate you.”

  Owen’s eyes widen, and he toys with the truth in his cousin’s words. Elias shrugs, and takes a sip of his water. “But it’s up to you, dude.”

  Slowly, Owen slides the ring back into his pocket.

5.

    Owen looks around, checking if any distractions could be in this room. None. How could it, though? He’s standing in an empty classroom, in the middle of winter break. Nobody in their right minds would be here.

  Well, that would mean that Owen’s not in his right mind. To be really, really, really honest – he is kind of losing it. He has been trying to propose to Y/N for the past month, but every time – every god damn time, something comes up and ruins everything.

  So, he decided to break into his middle school. Well, ‘break into’ isn’t the right phrase – he asked the guard to give him the keys for the night, and even thanked him with a hundred dollar note. Unlike his girlfriend, he’s incapable of breaking rules.

  The guard thought that it was very romantic of him, but really, he’s just tired and wants to get married already. He taps his foot anxiously, and finally hears the door opening, signalling Y/N’s arrival.

  God, she looks absolutely adorable. Her nose is crimson from the cold, and she is bundled under what seems to be ten layers of clothing. She huffs, grinning when she notices him.

  “Are we here to make out? Because your house was much more comfortable and so, so warm.”

  Owen shakes his head. “Nope.”

  “Well, are you gonna murder me, O? Because, well, it’s certainly the perfect location.”

  “I have to tell you something.” He says, taking a step toward her. He looks around and sees that there is nothing that could possibly ruin this moment, and smiles brightly, preparing himself. Y/N’s eyes gleam with anticipation, as she nods for him to continue.

  “Y/N, I still remember the day that I met you. I remember the way you smiled at me even though I had spilled black coffee all over you and ruined your very pretty, white dress.”

  She laughs. “I was really mad at first, yeah. But the cutest boy in all of Oklahoma was in front of me, and well, you know that I was a goner.”

  He smiles fondly. “And the beautifulest girl in the world was in front of me.”

  “That’s not a word.”

  “I know. And then you laughed at my dumb jokes, and even agreed to go on a date with me.”

  “To compensate for that absolutely gorgeous dress.” She clarifies, a teasing smile on her face.

  He grins sheepishly. “And then somehow, somewhere we fell in love, and somehow, you became my other half, and somehow, I can’t imagine a world without you. I don’t want to. You are my best friend, and you are the one person around whom I can be completely myself and face no judgements.”

  “No, I do judge you. You’re a little questionable.”

  “And what would I do without your wicked sense of humour?”

  “Honestly? You’d be lost without me. I mean, you forget to even put your socks in the washing machine.”

  “You’re not supposed to wash them. They go on your feet. Obviously.”

  “That is disgusting, and you know it.”

  He laughs. “I wanna be with you for the rest of my life, and I… I… I want a family with you, you know? I know that we’ve never talked about this, and I don’t know how you would feel about one, but still, if you’re up for it, I’m too. But, if you don’t, that’s okay, too. More than okay.”

  For a moment, an unrecognizable expression crosses her face, and he wonders if he’s hurt her. But then the biggest smile blooms on her face.

  “We should have talked about this. But I would like a family with you, too. I mean, I’ve never really wanted one, and you know why. But, after seeing you and your family, I realized that a part of me does want it. I do want to have the home that I never got to have with you and I wanna do better. I know that you’ll be an amazing dad, and I wanna raise my kid the way that kids should be raised. And I want it with no one else but you.”

  Owen feels as if he’s on cloud nine, and he stares at her for a moment, wondering how lucky he is to find a girl like her. He says, “Y/N, I –”

  Before he can ask her the question, though, her ringtone cuts through the silence of the empty classroom. She whispers an apology and takes her phone out from her jeans pocket.

  She accepts the call and speaks into the phone. “Hey, Luka, what’s up? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. Luka, slow down.”

  She exchanges a panicked look with Owen.

  Speaking of Owen, he’s losing it. Absolutely. He was so close. And for the first time, he had both confidence and hope. And something had to happen. He starts to feel annoyed at Luka, his sister, and then immediately feels bad about it, but then starts to feel annoyed again.

  “Oh no, you did what? Do you need me to come?”

  At Y/N’s last sentence, Owen bursts out. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

  Y/N raises her brows at him. He feels anger replacing all his emotions, anger towards the world, it’s timings, and mostly, towards himself.

  Sensing his rage, Y/N gives him a weird look. “What is wrong with you?” She whispers.

  “Everything. Everything is wrong!” He whispers back.

  He starts to feel breathless, and the familiar sensation of a panic attack starts to overcome him. He looks around, trying to focus on something, anything, when he spots the door.

  He looks at his girlfriend, and says, “I love you, but I’m gonna lose it.” With that, he walks by her, and out the doors, while she yells after him.

+1.

    It’s been twenty minutes since he last talked to Y/N, and he has lost all hope. He’s now sitting on a park bench a couple of minutes away from the school, and he is listing all the reasons why his life is absolutely shit.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  Owen looks up, and notices Y/N walking up to the bench, with a concerned look in her eyes.

  “I – I just… I’ve been trying to ask you something, Y/N, for the past month. And every time I try to do it, I’m either interrupted, or I’m not confident enough. And, today, there were no distractions, and I was finally feeling confident and hopeful and then my sister decides to ruin it – is she okay, by the way?”

  She nods and sits down beside him. “Yeah, she misplaced her dress for tonight.”

  He grits his teeth in annoyance. He loves her, but his sister has the worst timing.

  Y/N rests a hand on his, an odd look taking over her features. “You should know by now that the answer will always, and obviously be a yes.”

  Owen sharply turns towards her. “What?”

  A brilliant smile makes its way onto her face. “You are gonna propose, aren’t you?”

  A gasp involuntarily escapes him. “How’d you know?”

  “Well, you just said some pretty nice things about me. Also, I can see the outline of the ring box, and you keep checking your pocket for it every two minutes, even if you don’t realize it. You’re literally doing it right now.”

  In his defence, he wasn’t, or rather, isn’t consciously doing it. He slowly retracts his hand from his pocket and gives her a sheepish smile.

  She stands up. “Really, O, are you gonna do it or not –”

  “Yep, yep, yep.” He clears his throat and stands in front of her and drops to a knee. He takes the ring out, and flips open the box, and as the diamond’s reflected light dances across her face, Y/N gasps.

  “Oh my god, that’s gorgeous!”

  He grins. “I have great taste.”

  She smiles teasingly. “I know, baby.”

  “Will you ma–”

  “Yes! Yes, yes, yes!”

  “You didn’t even let me finish!”

  “Someone would’ve probably interrupted you and I couldn’t take the chance of you losing your shit again.”

  “You do have a point.”

  “I always do.”

  He slides the ring onto her finger, and she kneels in front of him to match their heights. She wraps her arms around his neck, and he wraps his around her waist, both desperate to be closer, closer, closer.

  “I love you so much.” He whispers into her hair, and she kisses his shoulder.

  “I love you. Forever.”

  She untangles herself from him, and as she kisses him, Owen realizes that he had no reason to be worried at all.

[MASTERLIST]

reblogs are always appreciated!! <3

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: talks of spencers major anxiety, parental death tw (not Diana or bob and Linda), trauma talks, computer hacking and new members joining the family...

word count: 4k

from the beginning <3

Taylors biggest surprise that weekend was what she had planned for Amoreena that night.

She set up a fort in the theatre room, they had every snack imaginable and any movie of her choice to watch. Karaoke in the corner, popcorn being popped in a theatre-style machine, and 3 different, matching child and adult, princess dresses for them to choose from.

It was all an elaborate plan to keep her preoccupied until bedtime, which Taylor offered to handle so that her parents could have a little wedding night date alone.

They’re all ready for a wonderful night when Spencer’s phone started ringing.

“Hello?” Spencer answers, sneaking away from the girls so he could hear better.

“Spencer, I am so sorry to interrupt you this late, but we have a situation… it’s not something that should be discussed over the phone. Do you have someone to watch Amoreena while you and Y/N come into the bureau? As soon as you can?”

His stomach drops, he feels instantly sick. “Not until you tell me who’s dead, who’s dying or who’s trying to kill us.”

“No one is, Spencer, it’s not a case or criminal related, it’s… personal, someone is here to see you,” she sounds serious and Spencer is still just as worried.

“I’ll tell the girls,” he responds before hanging up.

Y/N is standing right behind him, listening with wide eyes as she waits to soothe his panic. They worked like a well-oiled machine, she could physically feel his anxiety and in return, something about her just being there made him physically feel better.

“What’s wrong?” Taylor asks as she appears behind Y/N, Amoreena now off changing into one of the dresses she picked.

“They won't tell me on the phone but they need me and Y/N back at Quantico as soon as possible,” Spencer explained with a pale face, “we can go in the morning.”

“I’m fine watching Amoreena for the night, there’s a hanger down the road with a few of my dad’s planes, I can have someone take you to Virginia within the next hour? It's only 7 pm, I’m sure you can be back before bedtime?” Taylor offered her services for the 100th time that day, “It’s not a problem, really, and they wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious, they’re the FBI after all.”

With that, they said goodbye to Amoreena and told her they’d be back before she woke up in the morning. If not, she had Y/N’s cellphone for the night to call them before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up, so she won't bother Taylor that early. (Even though Taylor said she wouldn’t mind early morning Amoreena cuddles.)

He was anxious on the drive to the small airport, the old man named Norman, chartering them that night was incredibly kind, they were granted lading access in Quantico and before he could prepare, they were up in the air. He chatted up a storm with Y/N on the headset radio as Spencer overthought the upcoming chat with JJ and stared out at the world below them.

On queue, he jumped from anxious to scared when they land, before getting in the shuttle from the airstrip to the front entrance, but he’s so incredibly terrified when it comes time to actually start the walk to the bullpen.

“Will you come in with me?” His small voice asks as she is pinning a visitors tag on her shirt.

“Of course,” she smiled, taking his hand as they walked into the elevator together.

He grips her hand tighter as the elevator stops, dipping and returning to the right height and making his stomach drop the same way a rollercoaster would. He hated that feeling more than anything, having it alongside the anxiety wasn’t helpful.

He can see JJ and another girl sitting together at his old desk. She’s smiling at whatever JJ says, she looks exactly like Amoreena just with box-dyed black hair that shines purple under the lighting. She’s in all black, she pushes her glasses up her nose with her sweater hiding her hands, Spencer knows she’s a foster kid from just her posture.

“JJ,” Spencer makes their presence clear and the little girl turns to him with a huge smile, running to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Hi?”

She’s sobbing ten and he doesn’t know why or even who she is, he lightly holds her with complete shock on his face. He stares at JJ with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as he communicates the confusion and terror with his eyes.

“This is Josephine Elliot, or Jo as she likes to be called, her parents passed away a few months ago and she recently found out her biological father was actually a sperm donor and not her moms husband,” JJ explains a little before sighing and sitting on the edge of the desk.

“She hacked into the sperm bank and found your name, and google led her to the FBI and they stopped her at the second gate, the first only let her in thinking she was your other daughter, Amoreena.”

“I’m so sorry,” the poor girl wipes her tears with her sweater sleeves, “I don’t know why I hugged you when you don’t even know me, ew sorry.”

Spencer pulls her back into a hug, “it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about wanting a hug ever again. You can have whatever you need from me.”

She cries more, holding on to his shirt as he holds her, shushing her softly and rubbing his hand over her back. It’s weird how safe she seems this early in their acquaintance with one another, but he understands it. She’s so desperate for someone related to her to love her again, to replace what she was missing from her parents, that she’s already accepted him as a father without thinking it through. Without even know what he would be like to her.

When she finally calmed down enough, Spencer led her towards the briefing room so they could have a moment alone to talk. He wanted to know her, and she needed to know him before she made another big decision. He let her know who he was, what he used to do and the rundown on his relationship with Y/N and Amoreena.

“So you met her at the park and got married a week later because you both have dead exes and somehow through fate, you made a kid together?” She summed it up in a way that made it sound ridiculous.

“Mutual trauma is a great bonding tool, I’m sure you probably listen to rock music or anything sad and angry because you know someone feels the exact same way you do? I was like that when I was a teenager. We've both lost someone we loved and then made Amoreena out of pure luck,” he combated her snarky summary with his own profile of her.

“I actually like Taylor Swift, Paramore, Evanescence and Olivia Rodrigo when I need to scream about being sad, thank you very much,” she teased him, finding a very easy rhythm as they got to know one another.

“You’re going to lose your mind when you find out who’s with Amoreena right now,” Spencer smiles, somehow everything just fits together.

“What?” She looks so confused, scrunching her face the same way he did to push her glasses up without her hands.

“It’s a long story, but essentially we were at Taylor Swift’s house when JJ called, she’s watching Amoreena still,” Spencer explained, watching her jaw drop.

“Who the fuck are you, dude?” She whispered, and it took Spencer by surprise. “Sorry, I’m so used to swearing in front of adults lately to get my point across. But seriously, you’re so interesting…”

“Understandable,” Spencer laughs lightly at her strange compliment. “I have a lot of connections, and I’ll do anything to see the people I love, smile, that includes you now.”

“You barely know me and you’re just ready to accept that I’m your kid? Didn’t this just happen to you last week?” She laughs at the insanity of it all, “you’re going to have a million kids at this rate, dude.”

Again, she calls him dude and he knows she’s just trying to distance her emotions as they grow fonder and fonder. A coping mechanism so that she doesn’t get hurt anymore, she’s lost too much and she’s not going to love him just to lose him too.

“My dad ran out on me when I was a kid, I basically raised myself when my mom’s schizophrenia got bad, I know what it’s like to feel alone even when you’re with people who are supposed to love you,” he makes sure she knows who he is inside.

“I’m sorry,” she reaches a hand out for him, holding it softly. “I never really liked my dad growing up, he always felt off… I can’t explain it, but he was never the same guy twice he was either angry, miserable or scarily happy," she explains him and all Spencer can think is how he sounds like an unsub.

"I do miss my mom a lot, I didn’t know what else to do when I found out they couldn’t have babies together and she went to a Sperm bank without telling him. I know the names of your other kids too, besides Amoreena, I’m really surprised you found her mom without hacking the system too but, yeah, Dylan is 6 and Alice is 10, they’re both in DC with the same 2 mom’s, so if you didn’t want me, I was going to see if they would cause I’m technically their stepdaughter in a weird way and if I spent one more day in that foster home I would have ended it all,” it's a Reid rant, she's his for sure.

It takes him a minute to absorb it all, “wait, Amoreena is mine for sure?”

She nods like it’s a stupid question, “could you not tell my just looking at her? The 3 of us have the same face.”

“No, they wouldn’t tell us at the clinic,” Spencer is still in shock but more so that she got into the database so easily, “how did you do it?”

“It was easy, I had all the information about the sample my mom used so I just encrypted an email to the secretary of the sperm bank so as soon as she clicked the link to read more I’d have access to her computer, they didn’t even know I was in the system, they probably still don’t know I was there,” she explains it exactly how Penelope would.

“I don’t want you to think I’d ever not want you,” Spencer holds her hand a little tighter, “I’m not sure what the process will be like trying to get the foster agency to agree to me taking you home with us, but I’ll see what I can do. We have a big house and enough room for you in our hearts if this is where you’d like to be. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, you might hate the farm life and the isolation and all the cousins you now have, but you’re a piece of me and I’m not letting you go.”

She uses her free hand to wipe her tears on her sleeve again, “please, I know it’s not going to be the same but I miss having a family so much.”

He wraps her up in his arms, he knows the feeling all too well. One day his mom was there, the next day she was gone and no one prepared him for that. She never had to do this alone, Spencer wasn’t going to let that happen to her.

“Y/N is wonderful, you’ll love her and Amoreena. We live on a huge farm and there’s a lot to do during the day and people to spend time with, believe me, you’re going to feel so surrounded by the love you won’t know what to do with it all,” he shares from personal experience.

“Okay,” she hugged him tighter, pressing her face into his neck as he talked more, feeling the vibrations of his voice on her forehead to know that he was real. That his words were true and she was going to be taken care of.

“Is there anything about yourself that you’d like me to know? Or any questions you have? I’m sure this is going to be an interesting adjustment,” Spencer asked as he pulled away, looking down into her sweet eyes and seeing the hope she was still hanging on to.

“Is Y/N even okay with all of this? It’s her house isn’t it?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with it, she knew I had you and the other 2 out there somewhere, we just never expected to meet you so soon,” he’s as honest as possible, talking to her the same way he would with Henry, she seemed even more mature than him.

“Can she come in here too? I’d like to get to know her as well, see if she’s really as lovely as you say she is,” she smiled, coping with her trauma the same way he and Y/N did, with humour.

Almost like Y/N could feel him thinking about her, she knocked on the door before opening it a crack, “sorry, I have some updates,” she smiled.

Josephine smiled at her, “come in.”

Y/N sat down close to her and placed her hand on her shoulder, “my sister is a foster parent, she called her caseworker and they were able to rush the emergency next of kin paperwork, you can stay with us for as long as you would like to.”

“You’re serious? You barely know me?” She kept repeating that as if she convinced herself earlier in the day that they wouldn’t want to know her.

Y/N wrapped her up in a soft hug and Spencer saw all the tension leave Josephines body as she settled against her. It had been a long time since a mother held her, she didn’t realize how much she needed it until she was in her arms.

“You’re half Spencer, so by default you have a portion of my heart now too. I’m not going to love you as an obligation or because I feel like I have to, I love you because you’re part of him and our family,” she whispers into her hair, “I know what it’s like to be alone, you never have to be... unless we’re smothering you then I get it, but you know what I mean.”

She laughed in Y/N’s arms before pulling back. Y/N held her face in her hands and looked at her gently. She ran her fingers through her dyed hair, “you’re going to fit right in with the 4 of us.”

“Four?” She repeats, wondering who else they lived with.

“I’m pregnant,” Y/N smiles as Josephine lights up.

“I’ve always wanted to be a big sister,” she cried a little, “my mom named me after Jo from Little Women, she said she always planned to give me lots of sisters.”

“If this one is a girl she’ll be Eleonora like—“

“Like the poem, Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favourites,” Jo smiled again.

Somehow, without even being there, Amoreena’s mess of glitter glue was able to patch her older sister's broken heart right then and there too.

“I read really fast, my mom said she was going to go bankrupt buying books for me,” she opened up more and more, the hurt of the memories fading as she remembered them with happiness instead of mourning.

Her mom was gone, but the love of a mother filled her space once more. Y/N took her under her wing, keeping her warm and making sure he grew to be as happy healthy and wonderful as all her other babies.

—

They arrive at Taylor's door once again at 11:30. Amoreena is sound asleep in the spare room, not even able to change out of her princess costume or phone them to say goodnight. Taylor said she had a sugar crash and just asked to go to sleep, reminding Taylor that she had the best day ever before closing her tired little eyes.

Jo was very anxious to meet Taylor too, telling her a similar story to Y/N’s from just a few hours prior. Taylor made sure she was comfortable for the night in another spare room, making her a hot chocolate and some snacks from earlier that day at lunch. She was the best host, a wonderful friend and an even better honorary godparent to these girls of Spencer’s.

“Can I have a hug?” She sheepishly asks before she has to turn down the hall to her bedroom for the night.

Spencer answers by wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to his chest once more, he wasn’t sure how his heart could hold so much love for these girls, and still have room left to make more one day. It was a dream come true to have a family this big, no one was going to believe that he gained 3 kids and a wife in under a month.

He kissed her on the forehead gently, seeing her smile at the contact let him know it was fine. “Goodnight dad,” she whispers, pressing her lips together awkwardly the same way he did before turning down the hall and disappearing into her room.

She had only a backpack of things currently, not expecting everything to go as smoothly as it did. She had enough clothes to sleep in, and Taylor happily provided some old tour perch to her just in case she needed something new to wear. Something to help her ease to sleep that didn’t feel like she was going back to her old life in the morning.

Amoreena was going to have a field day tomorrow when she met her big sister, the beautiful girl who was busy covering her scars with bandaids provided by Spencer, but it would take a lot of time, effort and care to make her feel truly healed again. It was going to be interesting seeing Amoreena adjust to sharing him so early, especially since he knew Jo would need so much more attention to ease her anxiety moving forward.

Spencer sat on the guest bed beside Y/N, noticing all the rose petals and candles on the dresser and night tables, “oh she really had a lot planned for us.”

“She’s the fairy godmother of our dreams,” Y/N agreed with a laugh. “I don’t mind staying up late tonight if you don’t mind leaving on Monday instead?”

“I was going on suggest the same thing,” he smiled at her, leaning in to press their lips together gently for the first time since the wedding that afternoon.

“let's get into our comfy’s and go for a walk on the beach, Taylor left me the keys to lock up when we come back,” she whispered the words against his lips before smiling.

“Can I call Derek before we go? I really need to talk to him,” he’s honest with her as he pulls away, feeling really anxious and shook up at the events of the day. He needed his best friend.

“Yeah, I’ll go check out the rest of the guest house, come find me when you’re done?” She says softly, getting off the bed with a smile and stepping out of the room with a small wave.

He takes his phone out and dials the number, waiting with the phone pressed against his ear as it rings. Again and again, every new hum in his ear making his heart beat faster, “hello?” He’s finally rescued.

“Have you talked to anyone on the team lately?”

“Who died?” It was everyone’s go-to question when they got a phone call like this one.

“No one, quite the opposite actually—“

“She’s pregnant!” Derek shouts, cutting him off and Spencer can hear Savannah asking who from the background.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not why I'm calling,” Spencer replies only to be met with Derek's laughter.

“Penny and I had a bet on how long it would take.”

“She cheated because she knew we were trying,” Spencer takes the fun from him, Penelope always won. “I have another kid.”

“I know man, birth is so cool— well I’m telling him anyway,” Derek is clearly talking to Savannah and him at the same time, “we’re pregnant again too.”

“No, Derek, I’m pregnant and sick as hell while you’re perfectly fine,” she snaps back at him as she takes the phone. “You better be so kind to her Doctor Spencer Reid; rub her feet, make her breakfast, thank every god on earth and the ground she walks on for being willing to make another version of you, do you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” Spencer hold back a laugh, wondering when Y/N would have a hormonal switch like that, “but I didn’t mean the one in her stomach, another fully formed human of my creation walked into the BAU looking for me today.”

There’s a rustling through the phone as Derek takes it back from her, “what the fuck did you just say?”

“Her name is Jo, she’s exactly a month younger than Henry and her parents died 7 months ago,” he continues without even repeating the last part, “Derek I have 3 kids now and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Where are you right now?”

“In Taylor Swift's guest house.”

“Spencer, be serious with me, are you doing drugs again?"

“Ask Penelope, she contacted Portia, Rossi’s stepdaughter, who contacted Taylor so I could help Y/N and Amoreena meet her, then JJ called and made us fly all the way to Quantico and now I have 2 children living with me and one on the way. Not to mention, child 1 is extremely jealous about sharing me with people and hasn’t even gotten accustomed to being a big sister, and child 2 is so traumatized she hacked the fucking sperm bank and explained it to me like it was as easy as making a sandwich. I am in over my head here, Derek.”

“Okay, that sounded more like Spencer Reid,” Derek’s calm and happy voice calms him slightly and prompts him to take a deep breath. “If she’s able to hack she’s most likely like Penelope, we can introduce them. She’ll need someone who understands the loss of a parent. Amoreena, on the other hand, you need to spend a day with just her. Take her to the movies, or to see a play or something. Let her know she’s always going to be your little girl no matter how many siblings she gets.”

“Thank you, I needed someone who wasn’t my overly optimistic wife to tell me if I could do it,” he’s overly honest, Derek is his person and will always be his person.

“I get it, thanks for calling me, I’m really glad you’re okay,” he can hear Derek's smile and all he wants is a hug from him. “How was the wedding?”

“Good, we all cried a lot,” he laughs then, “we were supposed to have a big dinner on the beach before we got called into Quantico, so I’m going to go spend time with her now, I love you, Derek,” he rushes the words out so he doesn’t get overly emotional.

“I love you too, Spencer, have a good night,” Derek hands up before they both get too emotional. They always had a knack for making the other cry in times like this.

He lets out a deep sigh before tossing his phone on the bedside table. 3 of his 5 kids were here with him and Y/N now, safe and sound. If anyone else needed him, they could wait.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

@k-k0129

[lucky-katebishop]

What I Read in September 2021

It's been a stagnant month, but I did find a couple favorites :) as usual, composed of mainly Harry Potter fics but there's a spare Modern Family fic in there and a couple crossovers. I think I read about 27-28 fics :)

Harry Potter

Family Relations by OxfordOctopus

Plot: In which Harry realizes that not even he's exempt from how interconnected magical families are.

Characters: Harry, Pavarti, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Hermione & Harry & Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Desi Potter Family; Desi Harry; Hogwarts third year; red-haired Harry Potter

*complete*

Talking to Thestrals by OxfordOctopus

Plot: In a world where Voldemort well and truly died in ‘81, where there are no Horcruxes, where Harry is sequestered off by a man in a flying motorcycle when he's six, and where the only legacy the most feared Dark Lord left behind was his politics and a heavily scarred child, nobody quite realizes that Harry isn’t okay. Nobody but the leathery creatures at the lake, and the girl who looks at them.

Characters: Harry, Luna

Relationships: Harry & Luna

Warnings: anxiety, dissociation, suicidal thoughts, bullying, implied/referenced child abuse, child neglect

Tags: Sirius Black Criticism; Hogwarts second year; Sirius Black Never Went to Azkaban; AU - No Voldemort;

My Notes: Now, I love Sirius just as much as the next girl, but this is such an interesting look at a man raising a kid when he wasn’t ready and the consequences of that (I relate a tad too strongly)

*complete*

Slytherin Politics by OxfordOctopus

Plot: Abused children don't respond well to power plays.

Characters: Harry, Draco, Theodore Nott, Daphne Greengrass

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence

Tags: violence, broken bones, Slytherin Harry, bullying

My Notes: Harry is so truly terrifying in this fic, it’s wonderful

*complete*

rotten on the inside by cassiopeia721

Plot: Harry's boggart isn't Voldemort, or even a dementor. It's something much worse.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Hermione & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Hogwarts third year; boggarts; angst; protective Hermione; Hermione is a Good Friend

*complete*

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by IamShadow21

Plot: Questions asked, questions unasked, secrets told and secrets kept, trust, devotion, empathy and love. Ron and Harry's friendship, from that first day on the Hogwarts Express, right through until after the Battle. Can be read as a friendship fic, or a ship fic. It's open to interpretation.

Characters: Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Hermione, Arthur

Relationships: Harry/Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: canon compliant; canon-typical violence; friendship, hurt/comfort; protective Ron; Protective Fred; Protective George; gen or pre-slash; platonic cuddling; POV Ron

My Notes: now this could be read as pre-slash, as a relationship, or just good friends, but I am so completely head over heels in love with the idea of Harry and Ron! Best friends to lovers!

*complete*

Best Served Cold by enchantedsleeper

Plot: “C’mon, Freddie,” George says suddenly, sotto voce. “Sooner the four of us get out of here, the better.” It hadn’t been the right moment, as they were exploring the Dursleys’ comfortable house in the dead of night, to plant a well-timed trick or a trap and risk blowing the whole operation – and getting Harry into even more trouble with his sadistic relatives. Better just to get Harry out and away from that place. But two years later, Fred and George got their chance for revenge.

Characters: Harry, Fred, George, Ron, Arthur

Relationships: Harry & Ron; Harry & George & Fred

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Book 4; Harry is an honorary Weasley

*complete*

east, west, home’s best by taizi

Plot: You can never have too many brothers, Ron decides, for the very first time in his life. And there's always room in the Burrow for another Weasley, even if only an honorary one.

Characters: Harry, George, Ron, Fred

Relationships: Harry & Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Chamber of Secrets; families of choice

*complete*

live for today, hope for tomorrow by Vennat

Plot: Professors are Hogwarts are a little more observant and a little less likely to allow their students to be in harms way. OR A canon rewrite starting from book two, featuring friendship, angst, and a severe lack of oblivious characters.

Characters: Hermione, Harry, Ginny, Ron, Luna, Fred, George, Snape, Draco

Relationships: Hermione & Harry & Ron; Harry & George & Fred; Harry & Ginny; Luna & The Golden Trio; Harry & Snape; Draco & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; PTSD; panic attacks; blood; vomit; injury; food issues; depression

Tags: friendship; Harry has a saving people thing; mentor Snape; BAMF Harry; Smart Harry; canon rewrite; angst; Dumbledore bashing; Book 2; Harry is a Good Friend; Harry is Bad at Feelings

*complete* [part of a series; hasn’t been updated since 2020]

The Closest Distance Between Two People by StartledStarfish

Plot: In Harry's third year, no dementors boarded the Hogwarts Express in search of Sirius Black. Remus Lupin, the new defense professor, slept the whole way there. He did not wake to cast a patronus. Harry never passed out. Never heard his mother scream. Never saw the flash of green light. Never felt the unspeakable cold drain all the happiness out of him. So when Harry’s turn came to face the boggart, his greatest fear could not be a dementor. Harry blinked and looked up into the smiling face of Albus Dumbledore.

Characters: Harry, Ron, Remus, Dumbledore, Vernon, McGonagall

Relationships: Harry & Ron; Harry & Remus

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; childhood trauma, child neglect

Tags: boggarts, dementors, Dursley Family Bashing; Dumbledore Bashing; healing; angst with a happy ending; Ron makes sure nobody’s sad for long; friendship; laughter

*complete*

Grey Space by noaacat *favorite*

Plot: In 1991, Harry Potter begins his time at Stonewall High, unaware that he is anything more than a boy prone to freakish accidents. When he turns fourteen, he will receive a letter that will change his life. He will learn he is Harry Potter, and be invited into a world where belonging is his birthright. Until then, he stumbles on, two steps forward and one step back, out of the cupboard and into the life he was never meant to have.

Characters: Harry, The Dursleys, Dumbledore, lots of muggle OCs

Relationships: none

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; implied/referenced homophobia; child abuse; child neglect

Tags: AU: Hogwarts Starts Late

My Notes: This one! Is so good! The worldbuilding alone is amazing and the author really did make me immersed in the small sleepy town of Little Whinging. Please, if you read any fic on this list, read this one! It’s so good! Instant favorite!

*complete*

Iron by belleslettres

Plot: Draco also has a penchant for shirts with fiddly collars and cuffs and will not even entertain the notion of going anywhere looking like anything less than perfection. But Harry, who will do almost anything for Draco, refuses to iron them. “My aunt used to make me do all the ironing,” Harry says. “I hated it.”

Characters: Harry, Draco

Relationships: Draco/Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: fluff and angst; post-war; Epilogue what Epilogue; fluff; domestic fluff

*complete*

All That Stands in its Path by thebiwholived

Plot: "An old soul, people might say, and Molly has never quite been sure what such a person would look like, until the day her family meets the Boy Who Lived in a dingy train station on the way to school." Molly Weasley's perspective on the summer Harry Potter comes to stay.

Characters: Harry, Molly, Weasley Family

Relationships: Harry & Molly Weasley

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: canon compliant; book 2

*complete*

To See More Clearly by JellyShark

Plot: Harry didn't make it out of Privet Drive after blowing up Aunt Marge. He is alone, locked away, forgotten. To make things worse, his magic is changing, morphing into something unknown and terrifying. Harry returns to Hogwarts a changed boy, unable to hide the effects of his time with the Dursleys. His Third Year dawns, bringing with it a man who feels like home, a Hufflepuff Prefect, and a dog who reminds Harry of a time when he was loved.

Characters: Harry, Remus, Ron, Snape, Sirius, Hermione, Luna, Cedric, Neville, McGonagall

Relationships: Sirius/Remus; pre Cedric/Harry; Remus & Harry; Hermione & Ron & Harry; Cedric & Harry; Sirius & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Harry Needs a Hug; Harry is an Empath; Smart Harry; Magically Powerful Harry; Mentor Remus; flawed but well-meaning Dumbledore; book 3; book 4; Snape gets worse before he gets better; angst; hurt/comfort

*incomplete* [last updated August 2021]

Holidays by diogxnes

Plot: While his housemates discuss the upcoming holidays, Harry cannot help but think of how he never experienced a real Christmas with the Dursleys. Ron notices.

Characters: Harry, Ron, Lavender Brown, Seamus Finnigan

Relationships: Harry & Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: book 1; missing scene; canon compliant; emotional hurt/comfort; hurt/comfort; Ron Weasley is a Good Friend

*complete*

Closing In by silver_fish

Plot: Harry supposes he’ll never know how they learned about the cupboard under the stairs. He also supposes he’ll never know how they managed to make him so afraid of it, all these years later.

Characters: Harry, Hermione, Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, claustrophobia, implied/referenced torture, codependency, trauma, panic attacks, PTSD, therapy

Tags: post-war; hurt/comfort; touch-starved; guilt; Harry centric; false memories

My Notes: This one made me emotionally exhausted but it’s written super well

*complete*

Adjustments by Velvet_Riptide

Plot: With the Second Wizarding War over, Sirius is more than excited to put everything behind him and raise Harry as his own. However, he and Remus begin to notice odd and troubling behaviors from Harry. Without answers from the source, Sirius turns to Harry's previous guardians--Molly and Arthur Weasley--and learns Harry is still making adjustments from his time with the Dursley's.

Characters: Harry, Sirius, Remus, Molly, Arthur, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Sirius/Remus; Hermione/Ron; Remus & Harry; Sirius & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; childhood trauma; PTSD

Tags: hurt/comfort; coparenting; Harry lived in the Burrow for several years with the Weasleys before moving to 12 Grimmauld Place;

*complete*

Two Things by TheDivineComedian

Plot: Harry is only four years old and the Dursleys are already mean.

Characters: Harry, Petunia, Vernon, Dudley, imaginary Lily, imaginary James

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

*complete*

How to be happy by TheDivineComedian

Plot: The Patronus charm requires a happy memory. Harry Potter doesn't have many, and the Dementors get Sirius, after all. But the story is far from over.

Characters: Harry, Remus, Sirius, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Harry & Sirius; Harry & Remus; Remus & Sirius

Warnings: major character death; implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: creepy; heartwarming; dementors; Hogwarts third year

My Notes: this one is a fucking doozy good lord (the tags say heartwarming but w h e r e)

*complete*

Knowledge is a Rose by Magi_Silverwolf

Plot: When Harry discovered that he had a name, he clung to that information and all that it entailed. After learning more information about his past, nothing and everything changed.

Characters: Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; physical abuse; verbal abuse; mental abuse

Tags: emotional hurt; identity issues

*complete*

No Love for the Wicked by VigilanteVampire4311

Plot: Harry Potter was the Boy-Who-Lived. The Golden Boy. The Chosen One. But it turns out when you run head first into an unknown magical artifact and end up in a void, none of that matters. Now he's in a different time with familiar strangers who just can't seem to understand the new transfer student, Harrison Miller. With a Defense teacher he can't let his guard down for a second around, the Marauders hounding the 'mysterious' new Slytherin, and his housemates who cannot fathom a muggleborn being among them, Harry has to wonder whether fate hates him or if he is really a trouble-making freak like the Dursleys always said.

Characters: Harry, James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Regulus, Snape, Tom Riddle, Pomfrey

Relationships: Harry & James; Harry & Lily; Sirius & Harry; Remus & Harry; Regulus & Harry; Harry & Tom Riddle; Pomfrey & Harry

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence; implied/referenced child abuse; possessive behavior; depression; non-consensual touching

Tags: The Veil; Slytherin Harry; Marauders are kinda assholes; Tom Riddle is not Voldemort yet; Severus is so done; alternate universe; angst; hurt/comfort; bullying; time travel; Marauders Era

My Notes: so far with 7 chapters in, we haven’t yet gotten to Harry interacting with anyone from the past but it’s still written really well

*incomplete* [last updated September 2021]

The snake in the daffodils by SpicyReyes *favorite*

Plot: Harry follows Sirius through the Veil of Death, and stumbles out on the other side of the Mirror of Erised, under a strange spell and stranded in an unfamiliar Hogwarts.

Characters: Harry, Remus, Regulus, Harry, Ron, James, Lily, Sirius

Relationships: Regulus/James; Sirius/Remus; Draco/Harry

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence; discussions of suicide; discussions of self-harm; suicidal ideation; implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: universe jumping; Hogwarts fifth year; misunderstandings; miscommunication; basically everyone thinks harry wants to die but he is actually just hella confused

My Notes: so, so good! And if you like this one I recommend The Devil’s White Knight which is really similar in concept

*incomplete* [last updated 2020]

been waiting a lifetime (to be with you) by justprompts

Plot: The next time he woke, Potter was shaking him awake. Just, just not the right one. He had hazel eyes for one, and class. This was not Harry Potter. This was - Well, he had just woken up and who accepts the delightfully altering time-related facts of life right as they wake up?

Characters: Harry, Dumbledore; Peter Pettigrew; Prewett Twins; Marlene McKinnon; Sirius; Remus; Lily; James; Draco; Alice & Frank Longbottom; Regulus; Draco

Relationships: Draco/Harry; James/Lily; Sirius/Remus; Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadows; Alice/Frank Longbottom; Regulus & Sirius; Regulus & Draco

Tags: time travel fix-it; Marauders Era; Horcrux hunting; everyone lives/nobody dies; master of death Harry; light-hearted; POV multiple; Harry doesn’t need to be dark/evil to be master of death; irregular and slow updates; mutual pining

*incomplete* [last updated May 2021]

The Gospel Truth by twentysevensummers

Plot: When Harry arrives at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place with a black eye, he has more trouble than expected keeping the truth from Sirius.

Characters: Harry, Sirius, Remus

Relationships: Sirius & Harry

Warnings: referenced/implied child abuse; child neglect

Tags: book 5; hurt/comfort; angst; Harry needs a hug; good godparent Sirius Black; number 12 grimmauld place

*complete*

o children, lift up your voice by orphan_account

Plot: "i don't know if they could've put a flap in the door of the cupboard, now that i think about it," harry laughs nervously. "dunno if it would've fit onto it. since it's smaller than the bedroom door." hermione and ron's heads both shoot up. "what?" ron asks. "excuse me?" hermione says.

Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Hermione & Harry & Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: friendship; slight canon divergence; character study; second war with Voldemort; physical affection; lots of hugs

My Notes: this one is so good and if you can get past the fact that the author doesn’t capitalize anything, you’re good to go (although it was difficult to get past that at first for myself)

*complete*

Muggle Management by LadyWinterlight, NerdyKat

Plot: What happens if Hermione notices signs of abuse in Harry during first year? The Wizarding World may not have laws against it, but the Muggle World certainly does...

Characters: Harry, Hermione, Mrs Granger, Mr. Granger

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: family

*complete*

Harry Potter & Other Fandoms

Masked Men and Where to Find Them by tinyrose65

Fandoms: Harry Potter & Daredevil & MCU

Plot: Harry Potter moved to Hell's Kitchen because she wanted a fresh start: time away from the spotlight, where she could focus on being the best Healer she could be. Trust the unconscious man in her dumpster to go and complicate things.

Characters: Harry, Matt Murdock

Relationships: Harry/Matt; past Harry/Draco

Warnings: past domestic abuse; implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: female!Harry

My Notes: this is the first in a series and the second one is also incomplete but they’re both very good and the second one has Jessica Jones!

*incomplete* [last updated 2016]

Magic and Masks by Akoia

Fandoms: Harry Potter & DC Comics

Plot: Harry Potter is anything but normal, thank you very much, he just didn't hold such nonsense as that. Follow him on his adventures through the Wizarding world and muggle world as he struggles to understand who he is, and fight the destiny that's been chosen for him.

Characters: Harry; Dick Grayson; Jason Todd; Bruce Wayne; Alfred Pennyworth; the Dursleys

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; canon typical violence

Tags: fluff and angst

My Notes: this is a series with six parts!

*incomplete* [last updated 2020]

Modern Family

Breaking & Entering: (The Start Of) A Love Story by dollsome

Plot: "Oh my God," Mitchell says, "this is insane." It is, for the record. It is actually ... insane.

Characters: Mitchell, Cameron

Relationships: Mitchell Pritchett/Cameron Tucker

Warnings: none

Tags: none

*completed*

[jetsam-kisa]

Michiko vs Jetsam

Whew! This is done! I got carried away so I am very sorry for the length :’D

Michiko’s mod and I had some fun talking about our characters and especially the gear Michi is developing!

Unfortunately they were very busy this week, but I was more than happy to write the fight results :D 

CW: emetophobia // there is a brief scene describing vomit semi-graphically

The roar of the crowd echoed through the stadium as Jetsam Kisa and Michiko Watanabe entered the battle arena. Both of the students walked to their side of the arena with a sense of purpose, even if they were nervous wrecks on the inside. Once they took their proper starting positions, the two contestants smiled weakly at each other as the announcer called out their names and the people in the crowd cheered for the next fight. 

‘I’m pretty sure I’m going to pass out,’ Jetsam thought as he gnawed on his lips in anticipation, ‘That or throw up. Oh god I hope I don’t throw up in the middle of the match. Everyone here is watching. God, my parents are watching,’ Thick, heavy plums of smoke rolled out of his mouth the more frantic his thoughts became, until they nearly completely cloaked his figure, ‘I think I saw Best Jeanist in the stands too! He’s not going to want to associate with the kid who threw up during his first match. What am I doing here? What am I even going to do-?” 

Jetsam was snapped out of his rapidly spiraling thoughts by movement in his periphery; Michiko gently waved her hands at him and gave him a broader smile, despite clearly being nervous herself (if the crease in her brow was any clue to her emotional state).

“Let’s both do our best during this fight, Kisa-kun!” Michiko called out from her side of the arena, before her gaze hardened with a resolve she often reserved for studying the most complex of quirks, “Although, I hope you know that I will not be taking it easy on you. I need to see how far I can go, and to learn about the extent of my current abilities.”

Seeing Michiko’s determination and hearing her will to succeed was like a salve to Jetsam’s shot nerves. He took a deep breath, then released the pent up smog. The smoke surrounding his body partially dissipated too. It was almost a shame how well Michiko’s words calmed him down; he would be better off easily producing the pollutants that came with high stress. Jetsam briefly wondered if her kindness was double-edged in a way; was it a strategic way to prevent him from building up his quirk before the match? He shook the thought out of his head before yelling back to her:

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Miss Michi!”

He could only hope that his grin masked the nerves that were still rolling in his stomach. He knew Michiko; knew her quirk. It could only be activated by physical contact, so as long as he kept his distance he should be okay. 

‘Although,’ Jetsam thought as he gazed at the chain-like device at Michiko’s hip, ‘that capture chain she’s been developing could be difficult to beat. I’ve never seen what it actually does before.’

All too quickly, the announcer began their countdown: “3...2...1...BEGIN!”

---------

As soon as the bell rang, Michiko shot forward, arm extended, with a single-minded determination to do one thing and one thing only: get to Jetsam before he could gain control of the battlefield with his quirk. If she could grab a hold onto him before his smogs and tars and other (frankly, gross) expellents became too overwhelming, then she could nullify his quirk with her own, and use her capture device to prevent him from continuing the fight.

Jetsam must have realized her plans, and had just enough time to dodge out of her range, smog spewing out of his mouth now that his adrenaline was no doubt pumping again. Not to be deterred, Michiko quickly shifted her balance and dove after him again, careful not to let him hide behind the pillars of smoke he was creating. 

‘He’s not going to make this easy for me, but I have been preparing for this occasion for too long to let this game of tag keep me from winning!’ She thought to herself, resolve growing with every inch closer she got to Jetsam, ‘He can’t avoid me forever, and I have a secret weapon I’ve been dying to beta test!’

After a few more moments of chasing after Jetsam, Michiko took a gamble and let him escape to the sanctuary of smog he created across the arena. She knew she had to be quick, but some risks had to be taken to assure victory! She knew that she had the power within her to win.

He wouldn’t be able to outrun her prototype, after all!

--------

‘Phew, I think I finally managed to shake her,’ Jetsam sighed with relief, dark smog still escaping his mouth and obscuring his figure to the crowd (and hopefully Michiko as well). ‘Now I have a moment to breathe. Hah, figuratively, at least.’

He made sure to keep his eye on the clear silhouette of Michiko he could make out through his smog, never before more grateful for his mom’s sight-related quirk partially making its way to him. She seemed to be standing still, perhaps strategizing her own plan to catch him and throw him out of the arena? He hoped the smoke wasn’t making her feel too sick. He had to be quick.  

‘I can probably end the battle if I cover her in tar and stop her movement. It might be unpleasant but it’d be safer than trying to beat her in hand-to-hand or some other physical contest. I haven’t been training with Tsumi for too long, after all. Yeah okay, that’s the plan!’

Just as he was about to produce the sticky tars necessary to carry out his plan, a thin silhouette darted out from Michi’s figure, slithering across the arena at a speed too quick for Jetsam to react to.

As a cold, thin figure coiled itself tightly around him, the only thought sparking across Jetsam’s brain was:

“Michiko brought a snake?”

-----

‘Bingo!’ Michiko exclaimed to herself as Jetsam’s no-doubt unconscious shout revealed not only his location, but the fact that her capture device had worked perfectly as intended.

While it still had quite a few bugs to sort out, one of the most recently added features was a heat-seeking tracker that would allow the machine to chase after targets even under adverse visible conditions. 

She cocked her head towards the direction of Jetsam’s quick yell of distress; she couldn’t get complacent. The capture device was only half the battle! She had to guarantee that Jetsam couldn’t continue the fight in order to assure her victory! 

She couldn’t just blindly run through the smokescreen either; who knows what kinds of traps he could have placed while she set up her capture device. No. She had to be methodical, and safely make her way to Jetsam’s location while he was encumbered. 

The smog was thick, but now she had her goal within sight: grapple Jetsam and nullify his quirk, thus ending the match.

-----

Okay, so it wasn’t a snake, but it was still bad news! Jetsam’s arms were completely pinned by the robotic device wrapped around his torso. So this was the work of the capture device that Michiko had worked so hard on? Jetsam had to admit that it was effective. He couldn’t fight with his limbs restrained like this, and that shout he gave out completely alerted Michiko to his location.

‘So this is it. The fight’s over, and I spent the whole time running away and cowering in the corner. Everyone is watching. Everyone saw. Everyone will know I’m just a big failure who doesn’t deserve to be here. Oh god what if Sato-sensei kicks me out of the hero course? What if they kick me out of the school?? What if everyone laughs and ignores me and hates me OH GOD-’ 

As the panicked thoughts swirled in Jetsam’s mind a pit formed in his stomach. A pit that rapidly expanded into a big, black ball of anxiety and nerves. He could almost picture it in his mind’s eye: an ugly, bloated orb dripping with heat and stress and bile. The more he envisioned it the more it grew until he could almost feel it spilling out of his mouth like a slick oil spill across his lips and---oh wait.

It wasn’t in his mind’s eye.

Jetsam groaned to himself as gushing rivets of slippery, rubbery oil spewed from his mouth all down the front of his body. 

“Well this is perfect!” Jetsam exclaimed to himself, although it was muffled by the sheer volume of oil that expelled out of him as he spoke. He really did throw up. God, could this fight be any more of a disaster?

First he gets captured by Michi’s device, then he literally vomits gross oil from the stress. Fantastic. He shifted uncomfortably, as the oils soaked into his jersey under the capture device and--wait a moment. Oil. Disgusting, smelly, beautifully SLIPPERY oil! That was slicking up his torso and arms even now!

Jetsam pulled his arms upwards experimentally and YES! They were sliding out, he wasn’t restrained anymore! Maybe he could hide again and strategize-

The victorious thought was cut off by a hand shooting out from the pillars of smog, reaching for his newly freed arms.

-----

“I finally found you, Kisa-kun!” Michiko called out, jumping from out of the smokescreen with a triumphant smile. 

Her eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of Jetsam freed from his restraints, but she simply chalked it up to a prototyping failure; she could ask him about the specifics of how he escaped once the match was over, anyways.

This time Jetsam couldn’t dodge her oncoming attack, and Michiko grappled him to the ground, pinning his arms above his head. Now was her chance to nullify his quirk! She had been practicing in hand-to-hand combat, she could still push herself to her limits and come out on top!

Michiko began to focus her energy on her quirk, as Jetsam struggled underneath her. As soon as her quirk began its nullification, she saw the startled look in his dark eyes, and winced slightly in sympathy. She had been told that her quirk was a bit unpleasant to the target; with the process feeling not unlike having your blood drawn through your whole body.

As her quirk took effect, the copious amount of smoke around them began to disappear, once again fully revealing them to the crowd of spectators around the stadium. As her own vision began to clear she was startled to find them lying at the edge of the arena; if they had tussled a bit further out they would have been out of bounds.

Jetsam followed her gaze to the boundary line, and his jaw tightened as his face flushed a dull purple. Was it anger at his predicament? 

“I’m very sorry about this, Miss Michi,” he gurgled apologetically, as the last of his quirk bubbled from his mouth into a viscous oil that was spat out onto Michiko’s face.

With a shout of surprise, Michiko’s grip loosened enough for the slick oils still coating Jetsam’s arms to allow him to escape her grasp. Vision impared by the pollution covering her forehead and dripping into her eyes and nose, Michiko was unable to dodge the hefty push against her chest as Jetsam scrambled away from her touch, getting onto his feet. It was only for a moment, but it was enough for his quirk to return in full force.

“Again, words cannot express how sorry I am for doing that.” Jetsam called out to her, although his speech was hard to make out with the thick pollutants leaking from his mouth.

Michiko shot up from the floor, furiously wiping at her face to clear it of the oil. Once her vision returned, she turned to face Jetsam. The two ran at each other, trading blows and each trying to grapple the other into submission. The build-up of tar and oils worked as a double edged sword; Jetsam easily slipped from Michi’s grasp, but she also used that to her advantage to slide out of the way of his attacks. 

Then, there it was: that single, gleaming moment where Michiko could see the exhaustion, see Jetsam’s attention waning as the fight dragged on for just a bit too long. Right there! He was right by the boundary line, and had miscalculated a move that left him off-balance and vulnerable.

‘Sorry Jetsam,’ Michiko thought as she built momentum for her final blow, ‘but I am grateful for this amazing fight!’

Just as her victorious punch was about to make contact with Jetsam’s awaiting back, she felt herself freeze, involuntarily. Her arm was stuck in position, unable to move. She tried shifting her feet, but to no avail. Her whole body was frozen in place, like some sort of statue!

After a brief moment of panic, Michiko quickly realized what was happening. The tar. The tar Jetsam had been producing. He had mixed it with all the other pollutants as they fought, and as she was coated throughout the battle, the tar was turning thicker and thicker, until it encased her whole body into a stiff, immovable statue. 

She struggled, trying to thrash her way out of the viscous black coffin, but to no avail. She could no longer continue fighting. She had lost. 

The crowd burst into cheers and jeers as they realized that the match had been settled, the announcer calling out “AND THE WINNER IS, JETSAM KISA!”

As soon as the decision was announced, Michiko felt the tar slide off her body, like showering off a thick coating of muck, until only black stains remained on her body and clothing.

Jetsam sheepishly looked over at her, hand anxiously scratching at the back of his neck.

“So… that was really, really gross. I’m so sorry. But you were incredible! You almost had me so many times!!” Jetsam babbled out, getting more and more flustered as he continued. “I understand if you’re upset, but we promised we wouldn’t hold back and-”

“That was a great match! I had such a good time, and you really tested out my limits!” Michiko interrupted, smiled brightly at him as she held out her hand for him to shake. “But I’m warning you, next time I’ll be the one to come out on top!”

Jetsam smiled softly as he took her hand and reciprocated the shake.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[nodameshield]

how are we doing? have the tears dried yet? I know mine haven’t :: 

let’s start light : research fellows count ! (also, lady, only ten years old? - I resent that).

Goh understands this?? he’s got a silly proud smile and it’s following Ash’s butchered storytelling??? love 

research fellows count ! 

perfectly attainable dream 

sure, go for it.  (look at both of their supportive lil smiles, we love best friends) 

we all know the scene that’s coming ahead, but I thought this was a beautiful demonstration of growth already on Goh’s side.

Listen before the sad part begins let us appreciate for a moment how Ash and Goh were smiling at EACH OTHER after the interview was over. cuties. 

behold : the last frame we have of baby Sobble. I’m going to miss you, bean. thank you for everything<3 (he was so proud of his good deed as well!! my very heart) 

just how fast the night changes, indeed.

Drizzle went through shock and pain at record speed and swiftly landed on anger - only to fall into ✨depression✨ just as quickly.

and then we just stayed there.

someone 

is 

(oh hey Cinderace ! good to see ya)

having  

a rough morning

 (I’m sorry, this scene was just fucking funny - the drama)

Cinderace’s proud big bro moment was just too sweet to leave out - let us not forget, he’s been a big bro since he was Raboot (and even as a temperamental Raboot, he was always gentle to Sobble). And now his baby bro has evolved as well. precious ! 

Goh handled this situation very maturely from the beginning. And here’s when the build up starts. He’s saying ‘hey, let me help you how I think you need to be helped” and he genuinely doesn’t mean any harm! naturally, his reaction is to help his Pokémon, in the way that has worked in the past.

but then he starts to understand maybe that’s not the best approach this time around.

and he’s ready to respect those new boundaries (of course, there’s no blame on Cinderace, either. Much like Goh, he - and everyone, really - was just trying to help in the way he thought was the best).

shoutout to the animation on this bit because Pikachu’s ears darting down was a delightful detail. Chloe’s expression and Grookey’s simmering down drove the point home as well.

ah, you coy little thing. Did you forget how your trainer almost left you behind because of how rebellious you were??? Because you made him feel as though you’d be better off without him?? (Cinderace has selective memory, you can’t change my mind, don’t be miss-leaded by the cuteness)

this build up was wonderful - we begin to hear all these reasons why, yeah? maybe he just wants to be alone.

maybe he’s still very afraid and careful of his surroundings, and his evolution made it worse? (he’d been popping up in random places in previous episodes, hiding, which was also great foreshadowing for this episode !) 

maybe he’s cocooning himself until he’s ready to evolve again? (which, considering his disappointment and how badly he wanted to be Inteleon already, is a very plausible reason)

but Prof. Cerise gets it right when he says ‘we can’t really know for sure’ (which ties greatly with Goh’s upcoming scene) - is it your Drizzle’s quirk? are they all like this? who cares? Isn’t wonderful how he’s a living creature? how he’s got nuances and a personality? shouldn’t that be enough of a reason to look after him, and try to help him right now?

my child, still thinking he’s got to do everything on his own.

and these two are just like ????? Goh ??? watchu talking about ???

can you imagine how MUCH this moment means to him?? he was ready to keep going alone (it’s what he knows) and even when Ash and Chloe prove him, time and time again, that he’s not alone, there’s still something in Goh coded to believe others won’t care as much/won’t be there when he needs them. and that’s why he insists: I’ve got this. I can do it alone.

and, sure, but you don’t have to. that’s the beauty of friendship.

you tell him, Chloe. (actually, without Chloe calling him out, he might have taken longer to figure out where Drizzle was. so...) // but also, it gives us a glimpse into the fact that, while Goh might have felt very lonely, Chloe has been observing and caring for him - in her way - for a long minute as well.

my very point above. 

HEY, LISTEN: he doesn’t know, either. he’s a child, words are hard, and you rotate along the four moods of childhood (happy, upset, scared, hungry (?)) and don’t ponder much on anything else because you are a child, there’s no emotional intelligence to speak of, no need for it, you’re being shaped by your environment and all the stimuli of the world being a new place. things like loneliness, confusion, anxiety... we can’t put those into words - hell, they’re fucking abstract and confusing even when we are adults.

and Goh’s stimuli and environment was, given what we know of his family life, a rather lonely one. Did his parents have a lot of spare time to take him to the park? I don’t think so. Was he good at going out there and asking other kids to play? ... probably not. 

Chloe doesn’t strike me as an extrovert, either, so even if she wanted to get close to Goh or invite him to hang out, perhaps she was too shy as well. Heck, perhaps Goh’s reaction would’ve been like the one above, he simply didn’t know. Maybe he didn’t want to ! and that’s perfectly fine as well.

am I forgiving the anipoke team for making Goh cry? no, never. but this was beautifully executed so I can grow to live with it.

“why are you depressed?” “you have nothing to be sad about!” “look at all the wonderful things you have!” “just be happy again!” - sound familiar? yeah, this was incredibly well done.

as adults, perhaps we see this and think ‘shit, how cool that they’re prodding on these topics, it’s important’ and it is !!! so important !! but if it’s this impactful as young-adults/grown-ups, imagine how impactful it must be as a child to see this and feel perceived. I’m honestly so proud of this moment, this whole episode. I’m grateful they took the time to look into this maturely. and even if children don’t do a full-fledged analysis on it, if they relate (like I know so many of us did) they won’t forget it. and that’s beautiful.

darling I’m blanking on your TW handle I’m so sorry - but someone in a tweet SO RIGHTFULLY pointed out that these are the words Goh would have needed to hear when he was younger. saying them to Drizzle it’s a full circle moment for him, he’s hearing them as well, and it’s helping both of them grow.

He’s not forcing himself as Drizzle’s trainer. Goh bears no entitlement here. He’s saying ‘Hey, if you’re comfortable, if you want to share , I’ll be here’ / as a kid, people did care for him, they kept wanting to know what was going on, but Goh couldn’t put that in words and people pestering him only made it worse, but if someone had said ‘hey, when you’re ready...’ then,,,,yeah,,,,maybe it would’ve been different. 

he’s offering that safety now to his Pokémon, something he didn’t have, but he grew to understand is what he (and now Drizzle) needed. If that doesn’t have you breaking down in a teary mess then you are stronger than I’ll ever be, because my glasses were cloudy by this point.

why, why, why. because you needed to hear all that as well, baby! so did a number of us. thank you.

I’ll say that, however it was that you connected with this moment, that’s yours to cherish. 

Personally, I too had a lonely childhood marked by parents who overworked, and I too spent a lot of time alone in kindergarten and through elementary school because it was hard to make friends (turns out i’m an extrovert, ha, talk about breaking out of your shell...) so, obviously there were easy common grounds for me in this episode.

but I LOVED to read the reactions and realize so many people still connected with it, one way or the other. So many of us felt seen and understood and acknowledged in emotions that are so hard to put into words !! 

so, again, if you identified with Goh or Drizzle or any of the topics in this episode, that’s very beautiful, and I hope the underlying message that you’re not alone gets through.

With Sobble, and now with Drizzle as well, Goh is very adamant to remind us that, however we are, that’s fine. there’s something that makes us special, regardless of other people’s opinions, or their ideas of how we *should be* // that’s the message I’m taking with me, at least.

 and i can’t wait to see how this story line evolves !! I have no doubts that, when the moment comes, Inteleon will be a wonderful addition to the team, but Drizzle is here now, and he’s plenty wonderful already x

Bonus: 

ha ha, yes. I watched this episode three times. And all three times I was a mess.

side note but a very important one: the animation, the voice acting, the dialog, the scenery of the starry night - the entire scene was so beautifully executed. so  carefully crafted. ugh, amazing. just perfect. so happy.

[kirishwima]

Hello lovely! Hope you're doing well. 💖 If you're taking Mysme requests still, I was wondering if you could do headcannons for the RFA+V (and Saeran if you want) with a female MC who has depression and struggles with being overweight and the insecurity that that brings, but instinctively hides her stress and prioritizes the others over herself?

anon are you Me. Are You. this is too specific and i relate 100%, i'm sorry you feel this way, know i love & appreciate you <33

I'll use she/her pronouns for MC since you specified them!

RFA + Saeran with an insecure, depressed, overweight MC:

Yoosung:

* Listen, I love him, but boy would take a while to realise that MC's insecure, especially if she keeps hiding her own anxiety to help him when he's upset

* He will tell her he loves her CONSTANTLY, and when you don't love yourself, hearing that can...hurt sometimes, makes you doubt yourself. If she doesn't voice this concern, he won't take much note of it-he'll understand when she's upset, of course, and do his best to help, but he's not the best at reading between the lines, so she'll need to be a little bit more upfront about it

* The one scenario I can picture, is him coming home one day, perhaps finding MC getting dressed or after a shower-standing in front of a mirror, gaze averted, shoulders tense.

* He's happy to see her, but notices her stiff smile, how she flinches away when he goes to hug her, and when he asks what's wrong, if she says 'nothing' he'll insist until she talks to him, tells him her insecurities, how she doesn't get what he sees in her, how she'll be happy when they're together but then feel so empty the next moment.

* He'll feel SO guilty for not recognising the signs, but he won't beat himself up over it-what's most important is helping her, not wallowing in self-pity.

* He'll sit with MC for as long as it takes that day, will hold her close and list all the things he loves about her even if she doesn't believe a single one of them. He can't relate to the insecurities about her body, though he'll try to convince her he loves her as is-because it's the truth! He can however, relate to what it's like to feel empty, to force yourself through the motions of daily life while shrivelling up inside.

* So he vows to help, in anyway possible.

Zen:

* Listen, I refuse to believe that behind all that narcissism there aren't insecurities stemming from all the shit he's been through in his childhood. Boy's developed narcissism to cope with what he thought of himself as a kid, and I stand by that.

* So he's more observant than you might think-when he sees MC checking herself in the mirror, poking at her stomach, how she'll sigh and put a big hoodie over her t-shirt, how she shies away from physical affection, how seeing him shirtless oftentimes makes her feel bad about herself, that he 'has to be seen with her'-he notices it all, and hates it, hates that her brain made her think she's anything less than gorgeous.

* He tried asking her about it but she insists she's fine and she's no more or less insecure than the average person-ever the one to try and keep his worry at bay.

* So instead he'll let her know he loves her every single day, will tell her he loves her body, will post online about how proud he is to be with her-for all the world to know, so no one will ever dare question her worth.

* It's an uphill battle, and it's not one Zen can win for her, but he'll do his best to help, so she can realise her own self-worth.

Jaehee:

* Baehee would be one of the most observant people in the RFA-though she doesn't share the same insecurities, she can understand them, and will often prod MC, asking her to talk about anything that might be bothering her.

* If MC says 'it's nothing, please don't worry', she won't push much; she doesn't want her to completely clam up. But she'll always be gentle, holding MC's hands as she says she'll always be here if MC wants to talk, that she helped her so much she wants to be MC's support too.

* I know how weird it feels lending clothes to others when you're chubby-so I feel like sharing clothes with Jaehee would be...an ordeal. Being unable to wear Jaehee's skinny jeans, whilst she can fit into MC's, would sting, and it'd only add onto MC's guilt-she doesn't want to feel this way about her girlfriend! She loves her, appreciates her, doesn't ever want her to know about these thoughts.

* But again, Jaehee knows. She understands it, so-she takes MC shopping, and together they buy matching pairs of pyjamas and t-shirts, things that, whilst they don't need to share, can wear and be reminded of one another.

* "I love you as you are-you accepted me for who I am, so let me do the same for you" she'll say, will hug MC and hold her close until she lets her feelings out, talks about her worries.

* Jaehee would be eager to help search for a good psychologist, to get MC professional help-she knows what she can do as MC's girlfriend isn't much, so she wants MC to get the best help she can.

*And of course, she'll be there for MC every step of the way

Jumin:

* oof...listen. He loves MC SO much, will buy her the moon if she asks, but this man..he's only recently discovered his own emotions. He's emotionally dense, and when MC says she's fine, he tends to take it at face value. Why would MC lie to him, after all? She trusts him enough to let him know if something's bothering her, doesn't she?

* Not to say he doesn't realise there's something wrong-he's a businessman, reading his clients is a part of his job description, emotions included. So when MC's smile stretches thin, when she's overwhelmed but swallows it down in favour of acting like everything's okay, he knows-maybe not to the extent that others might've, but he can tell something's wrong, and he'll honestly be upset MC doesn't talk to him about it.

* So he'll just...sit down and talk to her about it. Ask her to be upfront with him, tell her he wants her to be happy, that he wants to be there for her and help her any way he can, but can't do that if she doesn't talk with him and let him know what's wrong.

* If MC breaks down-if she cries, hides her face in her hands, he'll be shell-shocked. He's so used to her smiling, even at the face of adversity, that seeing her like this...he has no idea what to do at first, not one used to emotional outbursts.

* Insticts soon kick in though, and he gathers her in his arms, rubs his hands on her back, letting her cry until she calms down, no matter how long that takes.

* When she tells him about her depression, her insecurities, he'll nod, quietly listening to her worries, formulating a plan of attack.

* He quite bluntly doesn't understand why she's insceure. She's beautiful?? He loves her exactly as she is?? If she wants to change something about her appearance she's more than welcome to, but to want to do that because she feels she must is...absurd. He simply won't allow it.

* I know it's a cliche in a lot of these headcanons, that he'd buy perfectly tailored clothes for MC, that he'd purchase the finest, most flattering clothes for her to feel as beautiful as she is in his eyes, but it's true-he would, hell, he'd probably read up on fashion himself so he'd be able to help her pick out outfits. He'd do anything for MC, and that's NOT an exaggeration.

* Plus he'd insist on her going to therapy-I headcanon that after realising his own emotions he'd probably start attending therapy sessions himself, to try and get a better read on his emotions, so he'll be a pretty strong advocate for therapy, and he wants the very best for MC.

Seven:

* HAHAHAHAHAH.

* This man...not only can he absoloutely relate, it's honestly a big reason why their relationship is rocky, to say the least.

* Having two depressed, self-sarificing people who'd rather bury their emotions in the depths of their gut rather than admit emotional vulnerability in a relationship? Yeah, not a good idea.

* He'll be using humour to cope with his depression, trying to get MC to open up instead, whilst MC's just pretending she's Never Had a Negative Thought in her life, trying to get Seven to open up instead. You see the issue, yeah?

* Honestly it'll take a lot of walking on eggshells and dancing around the issue until either one of them breaks down, admitting defeat, or they share an honest, adult conversation about their emotions and about how they both need help-which, realistically speaking, I find quite unlikely to happen.

* Not to say the relationship won't work out-God, Seven wants it to work out so, so much. He'll tell MC he loves her constantly, he'll make it so in order to enter the apartment, she'll need to say one thing she loves about herself each day at the security door before it can be unlocked, he'll do everything in his power to help her with her body issues because he loves her, worships her as is.

* The ideal solution honestly would be someone else from the RFA-Jaehee probably, lol, coming to boink them both over the head and drag them to therapy, both individual and couple's sessions, so they can finally start expressing their emotions to one another in a way that ISN'T memes or self-deprecating humour.

* It'll take a while but-they'll make it work. They love one another too much not to.

V/Jihyun:

* This man. This sweet, sweet man.

* He knows what it's like to be insecure, to feel uncomfortable in your own skin, knows what depression is like, how it takes a hold of you and leaves you a shell of who you once were, or worse-who you could've been.

* He's so attuned to his own emotions, he's learnt to recognise the signs in himself-and ergo can tell when someone else is also suffering, although to what extent, it's not always easy to tell.

* He hates MC feeling this way about herself. He loves her so much, she's the one that pulled him out of his own self-depracating, self-sacrifising depressed state, has helped him seek help and become a better man-he wants to be able to support her too, wants to do everything in his power to help.

* But helping someone who won't even admit there's something wrong...isn't easy. He's so gentle and patient though, and slowly helps tear MC's walls down. He'll never prod too much, will simply..be there for her. Will hug her, run his fingers down her sides. If she squirms away, afraid of him feeling her love handles, he'll simply smile and say he loves her, finds every single thing about her beautiful-he'll purposely trail his hands to said love handles, if she's comfortable with it, looking her straight in the eye when he says "Every part of you, I'm in love with. Please don't take my words lightly."

* If she's up for it, he'd love to photograph her-but it's not easy, when you're so awkward in your own skin, to accept to be viewed through a camera lens. So instead he'll draw her, his sketchbook filled with doodles of her face when she's happy, when she's concentrating, her body as she sleeps, head smooshed into the pillow.

* He'll never push her, letting her take things at her own pace-but he'll be there to aid in every single step

Saeran:

* I know I said it for Seven and V to but...out of everyone, I feel like he'd understand MC's predicament the most. Insecure about his frail body, dealing with the trauma Mint Eye has left him with, trying to combat his demons and anxieties whilst trying to return to being a member of society-he's going through...a lot, to say the least.

* So it's honestly understandable how MC will swallow down her own issues, do her best to support Saeran instead. Will she break in the process? Perhaps. She doesn't care. Not if she can help him in the process.

* Saeran might not notice it initially, too focused on his own issues which-honestly, understandable. It's not everyday you leave a cult after all. But the more he talks with MC, the more he realises she's hiding so much from him, slowly notices how often she forces a smile on her face, how she'll nervously cover her mid-riff with her arms whilst sitting down, how she shies away from attention-

*He's almost never the one to initiate physical affection with her, and she doesn't initiate it much either-but when he does, when he leans in to kiss her and feels her tense he panics, pulls away because-is she reacting this way because she doesn't want him?

* When she explains it's not that, that she loves him and wants to be with him, he'll press the issue, ask her why she'll shy away from him then-not in a mean way, he'll just honestly be so worried, wondering what's wrong and how he could help.

* And when/if MC does tell him about her issues...there's not honestly much he could do. He'll tell her he loves her, that she's beautiful, that her body's a vessel to carry her soul around, and that soul is so wonderful it radiates joy to everyone around her, but he knows how hard it is to believe such words when in this mindset.

* So instead, he suggests they go to therapy together. He knows it's not the easiest thing in the world-but he wants her to get the help she deserves. He'll hold her hand on the way to her first session, will wait outside for her, smiling up at her when she's done.

* Things will slowly get better for the both of them.

-masterpost-

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

and the void looked back to say i love you (Part Five)

A/N: i know i typically update this series on saturdays, but tomorrow is the start of mcc season 2. and i have part 5 done, so i'm updating it a day earlier! enjoy!

Warnings: teasing/banter, bickering, strangely wholesome eldritch horror moments (spooky lady gets instantly attached to bird child, said bird child finds this a little creepy at first), mild anxiety, kissing, mild embarrassment

Masterpost

-

Wilbur now joined Phil’s visits down to the void, and sometimes just Wilbur would come while Phil was off trying to finish off the tunnel to the Overworld or gathering materials for other projects. Now that Wilbur was quickly becoming a cemented part of her and Phil’s life, Kristin realized she couldn’t imagine it without Wilbur. He was strangely cheerful for a ghost kid, and he enjoyed talking to Kristin about anything and everything he found interesting in the Overworld. Kristin adored listening to him speak, and she couldn’t help but be reminded of Phil when he had first started visiting Kristin in the void. While they weren’t related by blood, Wilbur was definitely Phil’s son.

It wasn’t long before another change came to Kristin’s once bleak, dark domain- now filled with light and life. The tunnel from Phil’s home to the void was complete, and both Phil and Wilbur were being strangely insistent that she stay put for a little longer while they went back up to make sure it was safe for travel. Not that she minded- she wasn’t sure if she was quite ready to travel up to the Overworld yet, but at the very least she was happy that Phil and Wilbur had an easier way of visiting her now.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going,” a voice whined from above, one Kristin didn’t recognize.

“We’re going to meet Mumza!” a chipper voice replied, undoubtedly Wilbur.

“Phil still isn’t my dad, big man,” the first voice grumbled back.

“But you said we were like brothers! So that means Phil’s our dad and Kristin is our mum!” Wilbur answered matter-of-factly.

“You’re so weird. Why’s Phil’s wife all the way down here anyway?” the voice asked, and it wasn’t long before Kristin saw a head of unruly blond hair poke in from the newly-made tunnel entrance. For a brief moment, she thought the kid was Phil, before he tumbled down with a shriek, slowly drifting down to the void below. Kristin blinked in surprise. It wasn’t the first time someone had tumbled down into her domain, but it certainly was the first time that someone had fallen slowly. Kristin soon saw the reason the boy fell slowly- there were white feathers tipped in red growing from his arms, almost like wings. Kristin also saw tufts of feathers where the boy’s ears should be, patterned similarly to the ones on his arms. She drew herself up further from the void, reaching out her hands to catch the child. Phil hopped down into Kristin’s outstretched hands as well, carrying Wilbur. A few crows were flocked around Phil as well, cawing excitedly at Kristin and the people in her hands. Once Phil set Wilbur down next to the new kid, Kristin noted that he was much younger than Wilbur was.

“Philza, your wife is HUGE!” the kid gasped, open-mouthed as he stared up at Kristin. The crows squawked in amusement, hopping around the kid and flying up to perch on his shoulders.

“Tommy,” Phil said disapprovingly, while Kristin couldn’t help but giggle.

“Phil, this child you’ve brought me is small!” she teased right back, enjoying the responding chorus of laughter and caws from the crows, as well as the kid’s (Tommy’s?) resulting irritated expression.

“I’ll have you know that I am massive,” he muttered, feathers puffing up in irritation.

“A massive pain,” Wilbur said with a grin, playfully elbowing him. The kid looked about ready to shove Wilbur into the void, while Phil was (poorly) hiding his smile behind his hand.

“Could I maybe get an introduction?” Kristin asked, before the situation could escalate any further.

“This is Tommy. He and Wilbur sort of latched onto each other. Wilbur wanted him to come meet you down here… so I guess we have two kids now,” Phil said with a fond chuckle. Kristin smiled, nodding in approval.

“And he’s a bird, like you. I like him,” Kristin said definitively. Phil muttered something about how he still wasn’t a bird, but Kristin just smiled brighter. She wasn’t quite sure what it was- maybe it was how much Tommy seemed like Phil, how much Wilbur seemed to like him, or maybe it was some deep part of herself that just knew, like how the void was a constant and absolute certainty- but it was like Tommy was meant to be part of their little family. Their family had been fine as it was before, but Tommy somehow filled a gap that Kristin hadn’t even realized was there.

“Lady, I don’t know you,” Tommy said bluntly. Kristin couldn’t help but laugh again, while Phil looked on in fond exasperation.

“I’m Kristin, Queen of the Void. And I can’t explain it, but you just… fit. Like there was something missing before that’s now been found. That’s all,” Kristin said softly. Tommy seemed to consider this, before leaning over towards Wilbur with a hand over his mouth.

“Wil, our mum is fucking creepy,” Tommy said in a frankly very audible whisper. Three different exclamations happened at once, as well as a ruckus from the crows.

“Tommy!” “Aww, you said our mum!”

“Should a child be swearing?”

“Wilbur and Phil swear,” Tommy pouted.

“I’m more concerned about you being rude to Kristin,” Phil said with a laugh.

“Phil, your wife is a giant void lady. My description is acc-ur-ate. No offense,” Tommy said, sheepishly turning to Kristin.

“None taken!” Kristin said brightly. Tommy grinned up at Kristin, and while she had always found Phil’s smile bright, he had some stiff competition with Tommy. The kid could radiate sunshine, and Kristin wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest.

“You still haven’t admitted that you called Kristin ‘mum,’” Wilbur teased with a massively smug grin. Yet again, Kristin was reminded of Phil. There was no mistaking the fact that they were family, even if it wasn’t by blood.

“I thought crows were supposed to bring shiny things, but instead you keep bringing in children. How many more should I expect?” Kristin teased, her own smile likely mirroring Wilbur’s- she was his parent too, after all.

“I don’t mean to keep bringing in kids, they just kinda-”

“Does this mean Tubbo and Ranboo get to be my brothers now? What about Jack and Niki?” Tommy asked, interrupting Phil. He looked up at Phil expectantly, and he laughed nervously.

“Like I was going to say- I don’t exactly take in kids, they just sorta find me. Wilbur and Tommy are the only ones I’ve ‘officially’ taken in,” Phil explained with a sheepish smile.

“Well, why not take in the rest of those kids then?” Kristin offered with a grin.

“You don’t have to take in Ranboo if you don’t want to,” Tommy piped up. One crow cawed at him disapprovingly, to which Tommy responded by sticking out his tongue at it.

“Kristin, we can’t take in every lost hybrid kid- or really just any kid I come across,” Phil said with a laugh. Kristin tilted her head to one side with a frown.

“Well why not?” she asked. Phil’s hands gestured uselessly for a moment or two, before he dropped them with a sigh.

“We’re just two people, Kristin. And you live in the void, I’m not even sure if we could get Niki down here, she can’t leave the water- well, maybe if we…” Phil trailed off, muttering to himself. Kristin looked to the opening in the ceiling, where the tunnel to Phil’s house was. Then she looked at the boys in her hands. Phil and his crows, with all the adventures he’d had, the adventures that she wanted to join him on. Wilbur, the phantom hybrid who had stumbled into her life and despite his apparent aversion to sunlight, brought nothing but light and laughter with all his stories of the Overworld. Then the newest one, Tommy. Like Phil and Wilbur, he seemed to bring light into Kristin’s otherwise dark existence. If there were others out there- Tubbo, Ranboo, Jack, and Niki- then who was she to leave them above, in a world where she wasn’t there for them if they needed her? Hell, how could she stay in the void when the current members of her family were already without her most of the time?

“Then I guess I’ll have to come up to meet her. And the others. And for you,” Kristin said, smiling despite the way anxiety coiled in her stomach. Phil’s expression softened, his rambling ceasing almost immediately. He spread his wings and flew up to Kristin’s eye level, reaching out for a moment until he pulled his hand back with a sigh. Wordlessly, she raised the hand Wilbur and Tommy were sitting on up towards the tunnel entrance. With only some mild bickering between Wilbur and Tommy, the two of them (and the crows) clambered out of her hand and to the tunnel above. Once the boys were safe, Kristin shrunk herself down to Phil’s size to take his hands.

“Kristin, I- we don’t know if you even can leave the void. And if you can, what if it hurts you to be away from it? I can’t- I-” Phil stopped mid sentence when Kristin let go of one of his hands to instead reach up and put a hand on his cheek. He leaned into the touch, a sound resembling a coo escaping his lips unbidden.

“But being down here hurts you. The skies are your home, and I want to soar through it with you. Someday,” Kristin said, adding the “someday” as a bit of an afterthought. As much as she wanted to see the Overworld, there was a lot of residual anxiety that was hard to let go of.

“You are my home, Kristin,” Phil murmured softly,

“And you’re mine. I want to be able to experience it with you,” Kristin said firmly. A ridiculously sappy smile spread over Phil’s face, and he reached up to clasp his hand over the one Kristin had resting on his cheek.

“Well if you’re sure- I’d love to fly with you whenever you’re ready,” he replied. Kristin smiled, a bit misty-eyed, and leaned up to kiss his forehead. When she pulled away, Phil didn’t let her get too far by leaning his forehead against hers.

“Tomorrow,” Kristin said softly.

“Tomorrow?”

“Come back tomorrow to bring me to the Overworld. I just need a little time to mentally prepare,” Kristin explained with a smile. Phil squeezed the hand she was still holding, and his other hand let go of her hand on his face and reached out to brush a lock of hair behind her ear.

“Only if you’re sure,” he murmured. Kristin let out a small laugh, then closed the little distance between them to pull Phil into a soft kiss.

“I’m positive,” Kristin said, voice barely a whisper but no less steady and sure. Phil kissed her again, pulling away with a breathless giggle.

“I love you,” he said, grinning widely. Kristin was absolutely sure her smile mirrored his, and she let go of his hand and dropped the hand on his cheek to instead hug him tightly. Phil returned the embrace easily, wings shifting to wrap around Kristin. He didn’t have to worry about staying aloft, not while Kristin held him.

“I love you too,” she murmured into his ear.

“You think they’re done talking?” came a rather loud whisper from the entrance above. Kristin pulled away the slightest bit to meet Phil’s fondly exasperated expression, and she giggled despite herself.

“Shh! I think they heard you!” came another not-so-quiet whisper, unmistakably Wilbur.

“We can still hear you,” Phil called out, stealing one last kiss from Kristin before pulling back and flying up to the tunnel entrance with a wink. Kristin shook her head with a laugh, returning to her typical towering size.

“You boys gonna head out?” Kristin asked. Tommy poked his head out, frowning.

“Aww, already? But we didn’t even get to talk to you much, Philza hogged you the entire time!” Tommy protested.

“She is my wife, mate,” Phil scoffed with a laugh.

“Well she’s my mum!” Tommy shot back. Tommy seemed to realize what he said the instant he said it, face flushing slightly.

“Aww, you called me mum again!” Kristin chirped, beaming with pride.

“No I didn’t!” Tommy insisted, retreating back into the tunnel enough that his head was no longer poking out. Some scuffling was heard, and soon Tommy came tumbling through the opening, feathered limbs slowing his fall. Kristin quickly brought her hands up to catch him, and he landed with a soft thump.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“WILBUR FUCKING PUSHED ME!” Tommy shouted, scrambling to his feet and glaring up at the ceiling. Tommy was met with laughter from Wilbur, which was soon cut off with a surprised shriek of Phil’s name. Wilbur fell from the opening soon after, Phil’s laughter following him.

“Your bird instincts are showing again,” Kristin teased Phil, after she had caught Wilbur as well.

“What instincts?!” Phil demanded, flying down from the entrance to perch on Kristin’s shoulder.

“The ones where you throw our kids off things so that they can fly,” she replied with a grin. Phil frowned but flushed in slight embarrassment, his crows flying down to heckle him.

“I’m not even a bird!” Wilbur protested. Tommy gave some quip in response, starting another bickering match between the two- but frankly Kristin was too busy with the feelings of safety, home, and love that seemed to flow alongside the void to really pay attention. She hoped that those feelings would increase tenfold the next day, when she finally visited the world of her family.

-

MCYT Fic Taglist (lmk if you want to be added!): @corazon10000 @franticfandomfanatic @space-ace123

[marvelsimp]

THE NEW KID: Landing

THE NEW KID MASTERLIST Ch. 3

Genre: Fluff Pairing: Peter x Lesbian!reader (Platonic duh), Avengers & Reader Warnings: swearing, Description: Reader has just joined the Avengers so they decide to throw her a birthday party. Reader’s Powers: Healing, telepathy, and empath. Word Count: 2,737

“Peter! You got me into the avengers!” you scream whacking your best friend with a pillow.

“You’re welcome!” he laughs shielding his face from oncoming attacks.  You end up tackling him causing him to land on his bed. “Why are you attacking me? This is so RUDE!”

“HAHA! Too bad.”

“STOP. STOP” he laughs causing you to stop almost instantly. He sits up and looks at the clock, it reads ‘3:57’.  “How about we go back down to the game floor we can play some more laser tag or mess around with the VR stuff?”

“Sure but didn’t you say earlier that you wanted to show me the lab?”

“I forgot about that!” he stood up and reached his hand out to help you get up, you accept.  Peter leads you out of his room at Avenger’s Tower to go to the elevator then up to the lab.  “So, this is it!” he says taking you up some stairs.

The space is huge, where you just entered from is where the Quinjet lands, where the med lab is, and where the avengers keep their gear for missions.  As you walk up the stairs you see several platforms and ‘bridges.’  To your right you see a platform full of tools and stations cluttered with different projects.

“Most of its taken up by Mr. Stark,” Peter explains, “He’s constantly working on upgrading and improving all of our suits.”  He leads you towards the back of the area, “This is where I usually work.  I’m usually the one to work on my suit, especially during breaks. I’m trying to figure out a way to improve the capacity of my web-shooters.”

You nod, Pete lets you look at his formulas and blueprints. You give him a handful of suggestions and ask him a few questions. He listens intently to each suggestion and question.  He then has a quick ‘aha’ moment and writes a few things down for later.  You can’t believe that you now get to help him with this stuff in person.

“Oh,” he says suddenly. He points to an empty part of the lab next to him. “This is your station, you can put anything there and use any of the tools, under supervision.  Mr. Stark isn’t a big fan of us being up here without him or Dr. Banner but he made an exception for today.”

“Wait… slow down.”

Peter looks up at you, he’s slightly confused.

“I get to work up here, in the Avenger’s lab?”

“Yeah,” he breathes out. “What did you not understand about the part that you’re an Avenger now?”

“I don’t know… I guess that it just didn’t click.” You look around the space trying to figure out what you’ll do.  You then remember some of the old projects that you had to scrap because you didn’t the resources, you’ll probably have to start from scratch… wait your stuff is here. You let out a gasp and your eyes get a little wider. You almost run out to get your old blueprints but Peter grabs your wrists.

“Y/n, slow down.  Where are you going?”

“Sorry, I got ahead of myself.  I just remembered that I have my old blueprints still and that I can work on that stuff here.”

He smiles at you, he’s happy you can feel it off of him.  That was the first time since you got to New York that you had felt pure joy and he could feel it, too. His smile shrinks a little, “Like I said Mr. Stark doesn’t really like us up here without someone with us.” You nodded in understanding.

“Now let me actually take you to the med lab, I think that Dr. Cho will want to meet you.” He took you back down the stairs and opened the doors to the Med Lab.  Dr. Cho was sitting down busy at work looking through some papers and looking at something on the screen in front of her. “Dr. Cho.”

She looked up from her work and looked at Peter then at you.  Her eyes grew wide, “Oh, I completely forgot.” She stood up walking over to you and reaching her hand out.   You accepted it shaking her hand, “I’m Y/n.”

“Yes,” she smiled, “Stark told me about you and your powers. I’d love to do some testing later once you’re settled.”

“I’d love that too.  I’ve done a little bit of testing on my own, but I’d love to learn my limits.”

She nodded, she seemed excited. “I have to get back to my work now, but I will see you later.”

You and Peter exited the lab then went back down to the game floor as you had planned earlier.  You both walked down the hallway and entered the game room.  In one of the corners was Steve and Bucky, Bucky was hunched over on an old arcade version of Mortal Combat while Steve had his hand on the brunette’s back and he was laughing his ass off at the stern face of the “tinman.”  Steve almost instantly turned around when you and peter entered but he couldn’t stop his laughing quite as quickly.

You smiled and waved at them.  You turned to Peter, “What do you wanna play?”

“Smash Bros?”

“Minecraft?”

‘You always want to play Minecraft,” he whined.

‘And you always want to play Smash Bros!”

He gave you the best puppy dog eyes he could.

“Fine!” you laughed

“Yes!” Peter quickly set up the game.

“FINISH HIM” you could hear from the old Mortal Combat Bucky was playing.

You took that as your cue, “Do you guys want to join us?”

Steve looked a little surprised, he turned to Bucky waiting for his answer. “Sure, how do you play?” he and Steve walked over and joined you and Peter on the large couch.

“It’s kind of like Mortal Combat.” You went on to explain the game and gave recommendations as to who they should pick.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed after losing to the two super-soldiers who had never even played the game before today.

“Language,” Steve said nonchalantly.

“Sorry” you squeaked out.

Steve’s eyes widened realizing his mistake, he said it out of habit assuming it was Bucky who said it.  Bucky let out an earth-shattering laugh. While you were mortified that you had screamed ‘fuck’ in front of some of the Avengers not once but twice in one day. Once Bucky stopped laughing and caught his breath he turned to Peter, “Do you curse this much? I swear I’ve never even heard you say ‘crap.’”  He did, just not in front of the avengers.  Peter’s whole face had turned red causing Bucky to laugh again.

“Sorry, Y/n,” Steve said over Bucky’s continual laughing.

“What are you saying sorry for?”

“I thought it was Buck who said it so out of habit I said ‘language.’”

You smiled, “You don’t mind me-“

“Of course not.” Steve looked at his watch and then turned to Bucky who had finally stopped laughing, “Buck, maybe it’s time we head up.”

“It was nice playing with you guys,” you smiled.

“Yeah, we’ll have to do it again,” said Bucky.

“You’re an Avenger now, doll. Plenty of game nights.” Steve smiled walking out the door.

“Bye.”

Peter stood up. “Do yooou wanna play in VR?”

“Yes!”

“I know we’ve only been on this for half an hour but do you wanna grab some food?” Peter asked you.

“Umm, sure I could use some food.”

You and Peter walked back to the elevator taking it back up to the communal living space. As the elevator rose you felt the excitement rise not only in Peter but in some people on the floor you were headed to. When the doors opened it was darker than last time then you heard “SURPRISE” being shouted at you from all over the room and the lights turned back on. You jumped back a little then erupted into giggles. Directly in front of you were Ned, MJ, and May.  While the Avengers were spread around the room, which included some of those that weren’t at lunch.  There was a large banner on the wall that read “Happy 17th Birthday, Y/n!” There were streamers and balloons everywhere, along with some confetti that was spread along the ground. “Happy Birthday!” Ned, MJ, and May said in unison all grouping together for a group hug that caused you to giggle once more.

“Thank you.”

Peter grabbed your hand and led you over to a group of people near the dining table.  There was Pepper Potts with a little girl holding onto her hand, with a man, woman, and a teen girl that was maybe a year or two younger than you and Peter.  Pepper was the first to notice the two of you so she turned and smiled at you grabbing the others' attention.

“Hi,” you said looking back over the group.

“I’m Hope,” said the brunette woman reaching her hand out.

You recognized her but couldn’t remember how and as you shook her hand you let out a slight gasp, “Pym?”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

“Sorry, I’m way too invested into sciency things.”

The man next to her let out a chuckle, “I’m Scott.” He gently put his hand onto the teen next to him, “and this is my daughter Cassie.”

She smiled at you, “Hi.”

“Hi.” You were kinda confused as to who these people were, relating to the Avengers.

Peter whispered in your ear, “Think about it,” it was like he was the telepath.

After a second or two of staring at them, you let out, “Oh! You’re Wasp and Ant-man.” Neither one of them were known to the public as that but they were the only masculine and feminine pair, so it made sense. Hope let out a, “Yeah” while Scott just grinned impressed.  You finally turned to the woman you were very excited to meet, the CEO of Stark Industries.

“I’m Pepper,” she went for a hug that you accepted. Once you were released from the hug she put her hand on the shoulder of the little girl hiding behind her. “This is Morgan, Tony and I’s daughter.”

You kneeled to be at the girl’s eye level, “Hi, I’m Y/n.”

“Hi,” she said in the quietest voice possible.

You just smiled and stood back up. “It’s an honor to meet you all,” you said turning to each one in the small group, “I can’t believe that I’m even here.”

“Don’t worry,” Scott said, “We’re still getting used to it.” Hope nodded in agreement.

Thank god, that eased your anxieties a little. “Come on, Y/n. There are still more people you gotta meet.” He led you across the room where Tony and Colonel Rhodes, aka War Machine, were talking, Col. Rhodes seemed annoyed.  As you walked you passed Bruce, Sam, Bucky, and Steve who waved as you walked by.  Bruce stepped forward, “Hey, Y/n!”

You stopped and turned to him.

“Thor wanted to tell you sorry that he couldn’t make it, ya know family business. And he wanted me to tell you ‘Happy Birthday’ from him and Loki.” You smiled and laughed at the “and Loki” part. “Tell them ‘Thank you and that I understand. Oh, and that I wish him luck with his brother’”. Bruce chuckled at your response. He turned and returned to his group while you continued to follow Peter.

“Come on, Tony, another teenager,” you could barely hear Col. Rhodes say.

Tony just saw you two walking towards them, he pointed his head at you which caused Col. Rhodes’ demeanor to change almost instantly.

“Hey,” Tony said smirking at you and Peter, “How you feeling?”

“Uhh, I’m still in stock,” you laugh rubbing your neck.

“Don’t worry, kid, that will wear off.”

“I’m Rhodey by the way.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“I won’t be able to stay for long I was told about this morning. I wasn’t even told there was a possibility of a new Avenger until then either,” he looked annoyingly at Tony.

“Oh, I... don’t worry it’s an honor just meeting you guys.”

“Y/n,” yelled Wanda who was over in the kitchen.

“Well, that’s me,” you commented pointing your thumb towards the kitchen.

“Happy Birthday.”

“Yeah, Happy Birthday, kid.”

You and Peter headed to the kitchen.

“That was kinda tense,” whispered Peter in your ear.

You nod in agreement as you enter.  Wanda is standing next to the counter eating some chips with Nat and a man you recognize as Hawkeye.  But more importantly, you spot some brownies.  You quickly grab one, “Hey.” Wanda smiles and hugs you before you sit on one of the stools.

“Hey, Y/n/n, adjusted yet?” Nat joked.

“Nowhere close,” you breathe out.

Nat elbowed the man standing next to her. “I’m Clint.” He put a fist over the chip bowl.

You let out a chuckle and returned the fist bump.  “You’re Hawkeye, right?”

“Yeah,” he laughs at the codename.

You continue to eat the brownie and happily smile at your best friend.  He takes a seat next to you and spins your chair as you take the last bite of it. When you look up, there she is Captain Marvel with a gift bag in her hand.  You choke on the brownie spitting it out in your hand then throwing it away. Peter looks up in concern at you, you simply point at her and he erupts in laughter.  Nat, Clint, and Wanda were first concerned when you choked on your food but are now very confused.  You turn around away from the center of the room, putting your face in your hands.

“Y/n, you okay?” Wanda asks.

“Oh my god,” you breathe out.

Clint throws a chip at Peter, “Bug, explain.”

Peter calms down.  “Y/n has a hu-“ he corrects himself, “is a huge fan of Carol.”

Nat catches on instantly, the other two don’t but are accepting of the answer.

“Peter!” you say shoving him almost causing him to fall from his chair, but he holds on to the seat. “You’re a fucking psychopath,” you whisper angrily in his ear, “Are you trying to kill me?” He laughs looking behind you, so you turn around and to your surprise, Captain Marvel is right behind you.  You open your mouth opens but nothing comes out.

Y/n.exe has stopped working.

Reboot?

Rebooting.

Peter gives you a little shaking you a little. “Earth to Y/n,” he whispers in your ear.  Everyone, EVERYONE takes note of this. Some understanding your behavior instantly while others put it down as you just being a “big fan.”

“Hi,” you blush.

“Hi,” Captain Marvel smiles at you.

“I, um, I’m a, I’m Y/n,” you finally stutter out.

“I’m Carol,” she smirks.  You put your hand out for her to shake but instead of returning the handshake, she puts the gift bag she was holding into your hand.  “Peter told me you were a big fan, so I got you something.”

You smile and hit Peter for telling her. “Thank you,” you barely get out as she walks away.

“Hey!” you hear from across the room. “Since everyone’s met Y/n let’s sing happy birthday!” you finally recognize the voice to be Tony’s, “Head to the Dining table!”

You’re still standing there stunned, “Did that just happen?”

“Yes,” Peter says grabbing your arm, “Now let’s get some cake.”

Peter leads you to the Dining Table and then to a cupcake tower full of different types of cupcakes with a lit candle on top reading ‘17’. You take a deep breath to collect yourself.  You look around you and you’re overwhelmed with how much you can feel all of them caring for you even though you just met most of them today.  You wish your parents could see this… no you wish that your parents loved you enough where you wouldn’t even be in New York right now, but they don’t, and you have to live with that.  “Thank you, for all of this,” you say looking mostly at Peter but also at the others.  “Usually, I would spend my birthday with just my parents and this year I thought it would be Peter, May, MJ, Ned, and I.  But I never could’ve predicted to be with any of you much less as your new teammate.  I don’t know what else to do besides saying thank you.”

Next Chapter

Arrived

[obxsummer]

Who You Are // JJ Maybank

word count: 2.2k

pairing: jj maybank x reader

warnings: insecurities about body image, mentions of anxiety and depression (*if anyone ever needs to talk about anything, please don’t hesitate to send me a message or anon. i promise i’m not here to judge. i’ll help as best as i can*)

summary: JJ finds you deep in your head on a particularly bad day but he has zero hesitation to let you know how much he loves you.

a/n: sorry, i had to bust this out because i’m really stuck in my head tonight and needed some comfort from jj. this is written based off my opinions on my weight and how i function with it, so i’m sorry if it’s not super relatable. it’s based off the song Who You Are covered by Anna Clendening. i hope you guys still enjoy :)

masterlist

ask me anything 

--

JJ understood every little thing about you. He knew your pet peeves and your favorite things, anything that was subtle and almost invisible to anyone, JJ knew it. That was the outcome of years of friendship into a relationship, and he was just so in love with you that he needed to know these things about you.

The day started off okay. You had been woken up by the sound of birds outside, which wasn’t awful, but you couldn’t fall back asleep afterwards which meant you were a little tired. You ate a good breakfast, had a little bit of alone time until your friends called to head to the beach, but overall, it was reasonable.

The first issue came with getting ready. Since the whole group had crashed at John B’s house as usual, you didn’t pack a swimsuit to bring. Kiara had packed an extra one that you managed to wiggle into. The mirror was your enemy though.

You didn’t consider yourself skinny. Even as a younger kid, you were on the heavier side and as you grew up, your height helped, but you still weren’t in a single digit size. Honestly, depending on the day, you could pull off looking smaller depending on what you wore. You were curvy, but you certainly didn’t have Kiara’s small waist to narrow yourself out as you stared in the glass reflection. You still had stomach rolls when you sat down and you constantly tugged your clothes to make sure no skin was visible.

“She’s not stronger than me, she’s just fatter than me.”

Today just wasn’t the day to be wearing a bikini to the beach, especially with your boyfriend and close friends. You just weren’t feeling it. You tried adjusting the fabric to cover more skin since you usually hid in high-waisted bottoms, but Kiara’s low-cut cheeky style wasn’t giving you any help. With a sigh, you tugged an oversized shirt on to cover up for the time being and blinked away the tears that had formed before walking out with a smile.

“Hi, baby,” JJ greeted as you walked towards him, bag in hand with a towel in your other arm. You gave him a smile in greeting as you slid your sunglasses on, not wanting him to see the redness in your eyes from your small breakdown. “You okay?” He asked as you sat next to him.

You nodded. “I’m fine,” You tried to muster emotion into your voice so he wouldn’t notice a difference, but JJ always did. He always noticed. Leaving it alone, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side while you waited for the rest of your friends to join.

After a few brief minutes, you were walking down to the sandy beach with a cooler in tow while John B played music through Kiara’s speaker. You moved your towel so it was flat on the sand, knowing you would possibly look smaller if you laid completely down instead of sitting.

“Babe, do you want a chair?” JJ asked as he set the two he was carrying on the ground.

You shook your head. “No, I’m going to try and tan my back first.” Of course, it was a lie, but he accepted it as an answer, still watching you closely. As much as you wished you could keep your shirt on, you didn’t want the goofy tan lines or plethora of questions that would come with it. You waited until the rest of your friends piled into the ocean before pulling your shirt over your head, practically running towards your towel to lay down.

“She’s stronger and fatter than you.”

JJ watched you with curious eyes as you adjusted your suit again after laying down. He knew you were always insecure about the way your body looked and he always tried to remind you of how perfect you were, no matter what the number on the scale said or the size of the clothing you wore, but it was so much harder said than done.

“You’re beautiful,” He mumbled as he crouched down to kiss your forehead gently. “Please don’t forget that. I’ll be in the water if you need me.”

Tears burned your eyes as you watched him run away, part of you wishing he didn’t know you so well. Some days were just like this. Everything could be going perfect but one thing went wrong and you couldn’t get your head out of it.

Eventually, the sun was going down and the air was cool as Pope started up a fire for you guys. You had pulled your t-shirt back on and sat on your towel with your hands behind you to hold you up. Kiara was strumming on her ukelele while John B told some outrageous story about his surf adventures he had the other day.

JJ walked away from the cooler with two drinks in his hands. He didn’t hesitate to sit behind you on the towel, grabbing your arms so you leaned back against him as you sat in his lap. The second his arms went around your waist, however, you panicked and sucked your stomach in as far as you could.

“Your jeans look too small.”

The action didn’t go unnoticed by JJ, who instantly looked down at you in concern. He hugged you tightly, his lips pressing a kiss against your hair. He hated the fact that you were reacting this way to his touch, but he knew he couldn’t say anything until you were alone.

“I grabbed you a drink,” The blond boy mumbled as he moved to hand the alcoholic beverage to you.

You shook your head slightly, not taking it from him. Your mind had instantly switched to counting numbers: calories, sugar, carbs, any of it, all of it added up. “I’m good. Need to drink more water anyways. Thanks, bub.”

You continued to lay in JJ’s arms as you scrolled through your phone. You flew past the collection of pictures on Instagram from Sarah Cameron, only pausing to look at what Kiara had posted. JJ watched silently from your shoulder as you zoomed in on your body in the photo, analyzing every detail before looking at Kiara’s, no doubt comparing yourself silently. It only progressed when you switched to Pinterest, adding countless exercise routines and dieting ideas to a secret board once you grew bored.

“Alright, I’m going to call it a night.” You clicked your phone off and sat up. Whatever previous conversation had been going on quickly ended as your friend looked at you. You gave them a smile and grabbed the extra chairs, leaving JJ to man the towel by himself. “I’ll see you guys up there.”

“Are those new stretch marks?”

Goodbyes followed your statement as you disappeared up the sand. John B was turning to JJ in a split second once you were out of ear. “Is she okay?” He asked in concern.

JJ shook his head, wanting to go after you but knowing you would just tell him you needed some time alone. “No. No, I don’t think so, but I know whatever I say won’t make a difference. She’s so broken, you guys. It hurts me to watch her pick herself apart like this and compare herself to everyone else.”

“Is this about the swimsuit?” Kiara asked, to which JJ nodded. “I felt bad. I could tell when I handed it to her that she wasn’t down with the idea.” Kiara knew that you could pick out every single thing you thought was wrong once you were in the headspace for it. She hated the fact that you compare yourself to her, especially when she herself wished she was different. Nobody was perfect.

“I’m going to go check on her. Don’t wait up.”

Inside John B’s house, you had showered quickly before changing into your comfiest sweatpants and a giant t-shirt, wanting nothing more than to hide in your baggy clothes and try to sleep. It didn’t seem to work as the moment you climbed in bed, your mind got too loud and you couldn’t stop the tears from pouring from your eyes.

“You need a bigger size.”

“You have to stop eating.”

“It only gets worse from here.”

“What went wrong?”

“Guys don’t like girls that are fat.”

“It barely fits.”

“You’re never going to get married if you look like that.”

Not good enough.

Not good enough.

Not good enough.

Your fingers dug into your skin, your mind getting too far ahead of you as your hearing disappeared minus the sound of your ragged breathing. Your chest was tight but you could barely feel anything around you as you kicked at the sheets, digging your head into your pillow.

“Hey, hey, hey. Come on. Come here. You’re okay.” You knew it was JJ. His hands were gently as he shifted you into his lap, holding you tightly. He pressed your hand to his chest, cradling you softly. “Breathe with me. I’m right here. It’s just us. I’ve got you.”

JJ continued to count with you, waiting until you were breathing normally despite the heart-wrenching sobs escaping your throat. You shook your head as you calmed down. You loved him. You loved him more than anything, but he deserved someone so much better. Someone like Kiara who would look beautiful even when she was sick or hungover or just got out of bed. Someone like Sarah who could fit into anything you threw at her, who still looked skinny despite being in a giant sweatshirt. It wasn’t fair.

“Talk to me,” JJ whispered once you had regained enough control to slow your breathing down. “What’s going on in your head, baby?”

You clenched your eyes shut, not wanting to look at him as you explained. “It’s just really hard, you know? It’s hard to get up every day and hate my body and hate the way I look. It’s awful. I don’t have the motivation to fix it because I know I’ll never win. I look at people like Kiara and Sarah and just wonder where I went wrong? Why don’t I look like them?

“And I wonder why you’re still with me, even when I can’t fit in your clothes or-or you can’t pick me up and carry me? A-And there’s so many other girls out there that can look ways and do things that I can’t, and it-it’s not-”

JJ shushed you as you cried harder, clutching onto him like he would disappear if you let go. His own eyes burned with salty tears at your words. He hated that you felt this way. “Y/N, look at me.” You ignored his request until he moved your face to look at him. “You are absolutely beautiful. You’re perfect in your own way. You don’t have to have a tiny waist or small thighs to be pretty. You’re not Kiara, you’re not Sarah. You’re Y/N. That’s who you are, that’s the girl I fell in love with. You shouldn’t look like them. You should look like you. If you want to change any part of you, it should be on your own terms, not because you want to please the world around you.”

He kissed your forehead, holding you impossibly tighter as the two of you rocked back and forth. “Babygirl, I don’t want them. I want you. I want the girl who laughs at my stupid jokes and craves my attention. I want the girl who hugs me nonstop just to remind me that she loves me, or the girl who sends me morning text messages even if she’s laying right next to me. That’s you. That will always be you. No matter what. Although, if you stopped sharing your ice cream with me, we might have a problem.”

You laughed slightly as you leaned against his chest. Even when dealing with the darkest parts of your mind, he still knew how to make you laugh.

JJ pulled on the waistband of your sweatpants slightly before you lifted your hips, letting him pull the item from your body, leaving you in your underwear. His hands wandered to your t-shirt, sliding the fabric from your waist slightly. You froze instantly, sucking in your stomach like you did before. “Don’t do that,” JJ mumbled as he kissed you softly. “Don’t hide from me.” He didn’t push your limits though and left your shirt alone, simply tracing circles in the bare skin that was visible.

“And you’re wrong,” He said after a moment of silence. “You’re so wrong.”

You were confused as he moved to stand up and went over to the dresser in the spare room. He shuffled around for a bit before pulling out an orange hoodie. You let him pull it over your head and down your torso, the fabric warming you up. It wasn’t your clothing, it was his. His favorite sweatshirt to be exact and it smelled just like him.

Climbing into bed, JJ tugged you under the covers and pulled you to lay your head on his chest, legs intertwined as he rubbed your back. He wanted you to feel safe, and loved, and appreciated. “You’re my girl. Every inch, curve, scar, freckle of you, I love. Don’t forget that.”

“And if you ever need a reminder on how beautiful you are, I’ll make sure to tell you every single morning and every single night but even then, it wouldn’t be enough to show you how perfect you are to me.”

[dooandpoo]

Boo’s clown thoughts about Dan

I just re-watched the Heartthrob video from 2018. I have listened to Dan and Phil playing Heartthrob in 2021. I have watched compilations of Dan and Phil’s liveshows and ✨ gay moments ✨ throughout the years. I am officially qualified to make reaching assumptions about Dan’s psyche, and his taste in men 💅. (I am a clown.)

Dan hides many of his feelings under sarcasm. This essay is predicated on a combination of assuming many of his jokes are actually his real feelings, and also taking into account things he has said with sincerity.

First, he wants to fix people. His whole perspective of Bobby changes when the card “never been kissed” is added — Dan gets all soft and literally says “that’s a game changer”. Phil thinks the same, suggests that everything else of Bobby is bravado, to which Dan heartily agrees. Dan loves himself some 💪 meaty men 💪, but gravitates more to the men that seem soft or personable. “Never been kissed” is a big deal for a cool sexy rich guy in high school, and Dan just knows that he could take care of him. It brings Bobby back down to earth, makes him feel real, makes him someone that Dan could relate to. Dan is obsessed with cleaning, takes forever to plan things, gets worked up when things aren’t perfect, must be in control. But he’s drawn to the imperfect, knows that he can do something with it. Someone that’s already perfect isn’t interesting to Dan. But Bobby, who’s rich and sexy but never been kissed? That’s interesting to Dan, that’s someone he can work with.

Dan is a gold-digger 💷💰 (let me explain). Even before the kissing detail is learned about Bobby, Dan chose him to go to the party with just because he’s rich, because his house would be cool, and Dan could pretend to like him for a night of luxury. Dan is a minimalist, he enjoys things to be simple in his life (as stated in the pizza mukbang video), but he loves opulence .... but not for himself. This is fascinating — Dan doesn’t parade his current wealth around, actively works against it. But. He wants to go to a party at a fancy house with a pool, hang off the arm of some cool guy. He wants to have a “team of stylists” for red carpet events to choose his outfits and dress him up all pretty for the world to see. He loves his fancy trips to beautiful places. He gives his Sims elegant and gaudy accessories and furnishings, splurging in a way he never would in real life. This boy loves him some extravagance and attention, wants to parade around looking like a snack, even though most of the time he prefers being low-key.

Dan loves cultivating a specific image for himself. He spent much of his teenage and young adult life trying to fit in, making sure his hair is perfect, making sure his photos are from the perfect MySpace angle, not being “gay”. His Instagram is a wall of black, broken up by only a few things. This is partially because he doesn’t like choice, can’t commit to things when it’s his decision. He can’t choose something “wrong”. See the mukbang video where Phil suggests just picking different clothes from along the line in his closet, and Dan says “that’s how you get ensembles that look like this” indicating Phil’s absurd get-up. Dan can’t imagine just throwing things on willy-nilly, he must present a completely unified vision of himself to the world. In the Attitude shoot, he was devastated that he couldn’t wear the cool boots, that his hair was too long. He secretly wished that it was a nude or horny photoshoot, joking about this during their first Stereo, because he wants to be noticed in that way. He wants to be seen as sexy and cool, he loves it. He wants positive attention. His mid-2020 thirst post on Instagram is a perfect example of this, playing it off as silly when he clearly was really into it. He does this with most of his photos, needing to look a certain way so that the world sees him as cool and sexy even when he’s masking it behind sarcasm. He knows he’s cute, and flaunts it, even though “flaunting it” means he has to be in control of everything all the time.

Let’s go back to the 2018 Heartthrob. One of the boys’ personality traits is revealed to be “can’t wait to have kids”, and Dan is not having it. 🙅‍♂️ Now, Dan would describe that as his fear of commitment. But let’s look closer. Earlier that year, Dan and Phil met Louise’s newborn baby. Both boys go completely gooey the entire time, entranced by her. Dan gets this look in his eye when he hands Pearl to Phil. He watches Phil closely to make sure he’s holding her correctly, hovers and touches her, needing to protect and feel the inherent trust of a baby. He and Phil keep smiling, and then Dan — out of the blue — gets a far away look and comments that there will be phanfiction of him and Phil adopting a baby. Dan was thinking about having a baby with Phil. But he’s scared, because even though Dan would take care of his baby so well, he’d probably worry his ass off making sure the baby has everything. It’s not just the fear of commitment, it’s that he can’t trust himself to do it “correctly”. Even though he’s been with Phil for years, I think Dan second-guesses himself constantly. A baby, or even a dog, for that matter, would send his anxiety into overdrive, because he can’t be in complete control (even though he’d be the best dad and partner ever).

Time to think about thot Dan. In the end, Dan is horny. He visibly reacts to each of the Heartthrob boys that have their “guns out”, and doesn’t easily deny that he’s interested in Bobby for his arms. And Phil knows that. When Dan asks Phil why he thinks Dan chose Bobby ... Phil stalls. Phil does his best to justify his guess that Dan likes Bobby because of his random personality traits, because Dan would like being driven around in a nice car and to ask Bobby about his dream of being a secret agent, but Phil clearly thought Dan would choose Bobby because he knows Dan loves the meaty lads. Phil knows Dan well enough to know that this boy loves him some skin and some muscle showing. (Hmm, interesting that Dan likes his boys meaty 👀, and frequently refers to Phil as such, even at the beginning of this very Heartthrob video …. hmmmm ... says he’d like to receive a lapdance 💋 from Phil “for the spectacle” .... hmmmmmmmmm.)

Back to “commitment” 💍 issues. During a liveshow from the early danisnotonfire days, Dan is asked for relationship advice. Here, he is surprisingly honest and serious. He says to not stay in a relationship where you’re not happy. It seems simple, but Dan really digs deep here. Dan says that if you’re not going to marry a person, don’t stay with them for even a day longer. Dan said that. Dan is scared of trusting others, he is constantly sarcastic and talks about himself disparagingly, but he is self-aware enough to know that he wants commitment. He wants someone to love him forever, to be by his side. That’s why he says there’s no point in remaining in a relationship if you and the other person can’t see yourself together in 50 years. And Dan had been with Phil (in whatever way that means for them) for a few years at that point, completely comfortable with each other. They were already making huge decisions together, like living together and moving to London and starting a radio show and considering moving to New York together. Dan had committed to Phil at this point, knew that he could see himself still with Phil in 50 years. And Phil had committed to Dan, regardless of if Dan felt sure of that or not.

Even earlier than that, Dan had told a fan on formspring that he loves sleeping in the same bed as other people, not even in a sexual way. He loves human contact, sharing space 😌. We know this because he’s so open to hugs with his fans, wants people around to make him feel safe (by people I mean Phil), and is so exasperated by quarantine because he needs more touch and contact. (Tangent — Phil also loves physical touch, as stated in an old liveshow when he said he prefers cuddles to kisses, and is very handsy 👐 with Dan.)

This doesn’t end in physical touch though. He needs other people around. He wants a companion through life. He misses Phil when he’s gone because he’s scared of the house being empty, because Phil makes him feel safe. He wants another person in his bed because it feels nice to be with someone, knowing they’re there. He wants to have someone to work with, to connect with, to make music with, to share moments with. And now this boy has all of that. He has for the last ten-odd years. But this is scary. Dan isolated himself growing up, built barriers between himself and everybody else. He needs to be control of the situation at all times, embarrassed when he’s not. Dan uses self-deprecating language constantly, complains about his inability to connect with people. But he has Phil. Every day they’re together, I think Dan accepts just a little more that he can deserve happiness, that he won’t lose Phil, that Phil is not temporary. Phil shows him that he is worthy of affection, physical and otherwise, that Dan is allowed to reach out and it’s safe to do so. Dan doesn’t have to be alone anymore, he can reach out and Phil is there.

These nonsense ramblings are just to say that Dan has the perfect life partner in Phil. Phil balances him out, lets Dan be himself loudly and quietly, jokes when Dan is too serious. Phil will never leave him, proving that every day, making plans with Dan in mind. Phil is confident and self-assured where Dan is not. They ease each other’s anxieties, approach their fame in similar ways. They genuinely enjoy being together, not just in their personal life, but professionally as well. They are a perfect match, soulmates. 💕

[kusagrasskusa]

Yandere Simulator Delinquents.

They're basically copy and paste. Sooo here's my version of them for future reference! I got too excited writing the last one lol- It's been a while since I've been to inspired to write. This is a nice feeling uvu

Umeji Kizuguchi - Yellow guy

He has blonde, previously pink, hair and golden eyes. He wears a yellow shirt under unbuttoned blazer and carries a baseball bat around. He has a scar over his right eye. Umeji is Oroso right hand man and takes over position while she's gone; these are the cannon versions of him and all that's said.

This is my fannon version of him: He was hurt the most during the bullying and therefore the most fearful of pain. He flinches when touched and gets pissed instantly. He's the most cold and aggressive out of the five and it helped him keep him as the most feared of the delinquents. He works out daily, therefore having a good build and likes bitter foods rather than sweets. He'a quite ignorant and refuses to share his likes out of fear of being judged. He still feels depression but now faces more anxiety than anything. He often cries about it late at night.

But despite his depression, he's so determined to stay as a threat to many. It's the kist alive he's ever felt. He's somewhat narcissistic and has both an inferiority and superiority complex, actually. Sensitive to touch and criticism but damn his ego is big. He uses his strength and speed as another threat to fellow students, to let them know that if they mess up then he'll catch and hurt them.

His home life isn't fun. Parents maybe fighting here and there or gone for work or something. It wasn't abusive in any way or anything; in fact, they get along well when they're together. It's just the parents weren't attentive. As Umeji puts it, "My mom, dad, bless their hearts, but they aren't great." They tend to brush things off quickly and spend too much time to themselves.

Dairoku Surikizu - Blue manz

He has blonde, previously blue, hair and blue eyes. He wears a blue shirt under an unbuttoned blazer and carries around a boten or some shit, idk I couldn't figure it out. He has a scar on his lip and from Mulberry's art, it looks like he's the tallest of the group.

Fannonly, he's the most anxious of the group. He never talks about it to anyone but Hokuto, who brushes it off. Dairoku got his scar a long time ago when his parents were agruing; he hid under his bed when he was nine and started to cry. To calm himself, he started to bite his lip and scratch himself on the forearms and face to calm himself down. He cut himself in the process badly and tried to hide it from his parents so he didn't get yelled at.

His home life wasn't too bad either; his dad left the family not long after that incident when he was nine so his mom has to take on the roles of two people. She never has time for him so the other delinquents make him feel so happy. He likes- no, loves to talk to them but tries to look sketchy in the process.

Hokuto Furukizu - Purple manz

He has blonde, previously golden, hair and purple eyes. From Mulberry's art, he seems to be the second tallest, but very close to Dairoku. He carried around a metal pipe and wears a purple shirt under his opened blazer. He has a scar on his cheek too btw.

Fannonly, he talks most to Dairoku. He usually brushed off what he says, but relates to him most. Of the 5, he desperately wants to be normal and free the most. He was well popular in middle school but his anger once got the best of him and a fight caused him to lose a lot of his reputation. It just got worse as time went on however; but he misses those days so much.

His scare on his cheek came from the fight and serves as a curse mark to him; "The day they ruined my life." He hates looking at it and gets pissed off when people even look at it. He's always been hot headed but his physical appearance is his number one insecurity. Hokuto's homelife is normal and he's goodboi at home. Cleans, cooks sometimes, has an equally good relationship with his mom as he does his dad.

He managed to convince them that his new appearance and signs of depression from last year was just influence from ex friends. Eventually they just took his word for it despite how terrible of a lie that is, so they stopped asking.

Gaku Hikitsuri - Red guyz

According to Mulberry's art, the blonde who once had light blue hair and red eyes is the second tallest. He has a scar on his forehead and carried around a crowbar. His shirt is red and under, you guessed it, an unbuttoned blazer.

He's a genuine tsundere; the angriest of the group. He easily crushes on people like a simp and gets nervous easily, so he acts all defensive and aggressive around them especially. Other than Umeji, he's the quickest to shove people around and assert his position. But for the most part, he intentionally shoves and shoulder checks people he finds attractive or who he thinks is superior than him, which is a lot of people.

He suffers from an inferiority complex that makes him think everyone judges him behind his back and talks about him especially. Therefore, he's the loudest and quickest to insults; he's also very self conscious. He's scared to make noise in class, talk, eat in front of people, and others because he's scared to be judged. Because as long as nothing is brought to the table, there's nothing to judge. His scar was actually from Kokoro, the bully who's just a sadist according to the character files from Yandev, who got pissed at him defending himself and hit him down with a ring. He got cut badly and almost passed out from the hit; but hey, it's not like he can do anything about since she's a girl, and he'd be expelled instantly. The bitch even resulted him with a broken arm at some point.

Home life isn't great; rundown trailerpark, alcoholic dad and whole of a step mom, dead mom, things like that. Damn, if only he got more than a mattress on the floor, a cover, pillow, dresser filled with all his clothes and school supplies to live on. But he can't even get a job without his scar making people think he's worse than what his persona displays.

Hayanari Tsumeato - Grey manz

The grey eyed, blonde hair man with natural red hair who carries around a lead pipe is Hayanari, who's last name "Tsumeato" means scratch mark. He has a grey shirt under his unbuttoned blazer and a scar over his nose.

Fannonly, he was the one with the no fucks given attitude. He was usually straight faced and brutally honest when talking to people, but wasn't necessarily judgemental. It's hard to explain but just because he says, "damn Daniel, you're built like a carrot," doesn't mean he cares about his appearance, even if whoever tf Daniel is actually looks like a carrot or not. He was the daredevil who did things solely for his entertainment.

In a way, it was almost sociopathic or narcissistic; he'd be fine with embarrassing someone in front of anyone because it got a smile our of him. If someone complained, he'd roll his eyes and convince whoever that they were overreacting and that they were the one at fault. He's very manipulative and sarcastic, usually just smiling cockily and speaking innocently. Kinda emo, but he wasn't against that title. He actually liked the occult and for the most part, was down for anything that didn't have too much time needed, like school or family.

He was in the middle of everything; okay with cooking, occult, art, science, reading, anine and games, so there wasn't much a person can dislike him for in terms of social standards. He wasn't appart of a dislikes group like the occult kids or science kids, not with a loved group like cooking or art kids. But when he started to express a bit of interest in the occult was when people could finally pin him down and bully him back for all those insulting jokes that sounded way too serious. And before he knew it, he got wrapped up in the hate and couldn't get himself free.

Home life is something he never, not even to his fellow delinquents, never talks about. But one thing worth noting is that he's never seen without a long sleeved shirt or jacket of some kind. He used to pass out time to time during gym classes because he was overheated due to bringing a long sleeved version of the gym shirt to school and never drank anything. When his parents were called, they always insisted on saying they'll do something about it but they never did, either. The delinquents do think there's some kind of abuse at his house; besides, Hayanari is adopted and those things happen often even if it's more common in the foster system.

His family is something he never talks about. Back in middle school, his friends were able to see his "parents" time to time when they picked him up from school. It was immediately obvious that he wasn't related to them; hell, he rarely called them mom or dad. At home, until adopted, was great. Friends coming over, happy family moments, being able to play games and use electronics, things like that. But when he was adopted was when it wouldn't be easy to just tell someone what was to come; quite obviously, it was abuse. Verbal and physical, nearly everyday. It was worse in the beginning but happened less often as he got older.

His "mom" would call the police a few times him because she felt "threatened." She hit him so he would hit back and yell while doing so, so she has evidence of an attack. But luckily, her skin isn't sensitive enough to show any marks unlike Hayanari's. Other times, his "dad" would get involved and hurt him badly.